Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Top 6 Awful Horror Movies of 2009

So I decided to make a list to go hand in hand with my Top 7 Horror Movies of 2009 with this Top 6 Awful Horror Movies of 2009. This wasn’t that hard to do because since most of the 2000’s have been shit and remakes, this years wasn’t any different. Although, I did have trouble seeing which movie tops one another on the crap scale. I hope you enjoy it.

6. The Unborn – This movie could have been a lot better had it not been so close to Rosemary’s Baby and had they trashed that stupid line ‘Jambe wants to be born now.’ Other then that, this movie didn’t really have much of anything going for it and I really felt let down by it. Had so much potential.

5. The Last House on the Left – A lot of people apparently liked this movie in contrast to the original but I think this movie lacked the shock value that I enjoyed from the original. Not to mention, the gritty and sadistic way the parents get back at their child’s killers. To me, this movie didn’t really take any of that into consideration.

4. The Uninvited – This movie could not keep my attention at all and apparently it’s a remake of Tale of Two Sisters. I fell asleep half way into the movie and then when I woke up I saw some chick look under an oven and then I went back to sleep. That’s how I felt about The Uninvited. Simple as that.

3. Sorority Row – This movie was utter crap and I don’t know how else to explain it. All the characters in the movie were unlikable and there were so many inappropriate times where I didn’t know if I should laugh or not. The plot was so fuzzy and this is what you get for remaking a bad movie to begin with.

2. Friday the 13th – Now this was a truly miserable movie and the reason being is that the characters are not relatable and we end up wanting them dead rather then seeing them alive. There were way too many stories in this movie, an epilogue, a post epilogue and then the story. The only good part was actually the pre-epilogue.

1. Halloween 2 – Don’t even start me on this one. There are so many things wrong with this movie from the mischaracterization of Loomis, to the progression of the plot, to the best part being a dream, to stale characters, to the general rape of Carpenter’s classic movie, to that unnecessary White Horse, to Michael’s new Grizzly Adams look, to the pointless flashbacks, to the awful ending, to the shitty music, to the stupid humor, to the excessive cursing, to the white trash, to the...

Well there is my list and I hope that you enjoy it as much as I do considering I had a lot of fun making it. Honestly, I didn’t even scratch the surface of how long this list could have been.


C.L. Hadden said...

Out of all of the above (and I've seen each) I would pick The Uninvited as the least lame.
Good list. Funny how they're all mainstream horror. Shouldn't that say something?

Andre said...

You are right about Last House on the Left not being as shocking and gritty but I think they realized it would be impossible to capture that same feeling. I appreciate for the changes they made- changes that for me impacted the later decisions in the film. It will never be superior of course, but I do think it was one of the better remakes. Ok that's all! Good list otherwise...also the girl in the Unborn is such a poor man's version of Megan Fox bleck.

BJ-C said...

rick, you ranked jennifer's body above last house? im going to punch you right in the hawaiian shirt.

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