Review - Halloween II (2009)

From Blogger Pictures

Halloween II is exactly what I expected it to be… a jumbled mess of lights, blood and ghosts. I went in having real low expectations but I walked out with a sense of ‘what the fuck did I just watch,’ which I guess was better than what I expected but it was still a pretty bad movie nevertheless. The plot, in simple words, is centering on Laurie who is trying to overcome the terror that had happened to her but Michael is back and he is seeing apparitions of his mom and of himself as a little kid. His ghost mom and his ghost kid-self tell him that he must make Laurie part of the family. Psychological subtext and stupid metaphors layer this movie to the point where it becomes confusing and jumbled. In the end, I don’t know who is who and there is no explanation when it clearly needs one.

From Blogger Pictures

What really bothered me about this movie was the fact that none of the characters were likable or even remotely enjoyable to watch. What I enjoyed about the original Halloween II is that Laurie still retained her innocents on the whole subject; she still was this helpless girl that tangled with evil. That’s not the case here! Laurie is a stupid, alcoholic whiny bitch who you kind of want to see get killed. Even Loomis is an asshole in this movie. He writes a book about Michael Myers and then profits off of it and then is a douche to his editor and the people around him… and he is so convinced that Michael is dead. The REAL Loomis would never do that; he is not out there for profit or anything… just to help Laurie avoid this monster. He was still a nice protective man, not like in this movie. The only real person that I actually cared for was the Sheriff because he had depth and emotion.

I loathed the supernatural aspect of this film because it did not need to be in there. They are adding layers of character to Michael that didn’t need to be added… they are trying to make him seem like a person that has a conscience but he simply does not, he is the Boogeyman. For whatever reason, there was Sheri Moon Zombie dressed in a white gown with a white horse; I fail to see where this fit into the plot. Are they trying to find metaphors to pump in to this film? I don’t know. Also, why does Michael Myers dress like a homeless guy and why does he have a beard? A homeless looking Michael is not something that I neither am used to nor do I want to see.

From Blogger Pictures

In fairness, this movie does have its brutal killings, a lot of blood and some pretty awesome camera angles but what throws me off from this movie is the fact that there are points (specifically Laurie’s dreams) where it’s so LSD induced and so fucked up, I don’t know what to think. It’s like watching an 80’s music video while on acid. It steers away from the plot. Furthermore, there are comedy sections that didn’t need to be there specifically the line “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” said by the ambulance attendee. And the cameo by Weird Al was very unnecessary.

Overall, this movie was a mess and it was hard to follow. There were points where it tried to be serous but it failed and there were times when the corniness, supernatural elements and the characters got in the way of the already fucked up plot. I think this movie could have been better had they kept it in the same night and not over the course of a few days. But, this is Zombie’s rendition so I can’t complain… coming from the guy who did House of 1,000 Corpses I expect nothing more. I am still a somewhat fan of his music though. 

Why Loomis is Awesome

I love the movie “Halloween” and it’s one of my favorite slashers but what I especially like about this movie is one of the key characters in the movie… not Michael, not Laurie but rather Dr. Samuel Loomis. Why do I like his character? Because he really cares about Michael, he seems like the only person to understand him and he is the kind of guy who looks awkward holding a gun but when he does he’s dangerous. He is funny, evidenced when he scares those kids from the Myers house and really want to help Michael but can’t.

Unlike the remake, he’s not out for money or to expose Michael for profit, he doesn’t look like a hippy and in the remake he’s not as funny. I enjoy McDowell’s performances but I don’t think that anybody could ever knock the character down as well as Pleasence. 

How To Avoid A Killer

You know what I have noticed in most of these slasher movies? Whenever the main character is trying to run away from the killer, the killer always manages to catch up to him or her even though he is walking behind them and not running. It kind of helps the idea that these killers are pretty much super humans. So, how do you effectively get away from a killer in the movies? You walk, not run and you’ll eventually get away from the killer.

On a side note, Tony Moran (the guy who played Myers in the 78’ movie) based his cold, stiff, robotic walk of Mike Myers off of Yul Brynner’s performance as The Gunslinger in Westworld; in which the character was a robot.

Yul Brynner lives on!!!!