Hollywood Video Memories: Carnival of Souls (1998)

I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I use to watch this movie back when I was a kid and I remember the day that I went into Hollywood Video and saw the box cover in all it’s frightening glory. This was yet another case where I based the movie solely on what I saw on the box cover: the creepy silhouette of a clown that was mostly in shadow save for his demonic eye makeup. The ghostly carnival behind him that seemed like hell and the colorful balloons that had images of twisted demons and people in pain. All of it was enough to make me grab the VHS as much as I could, but I always wondered why I was the only one who seemed to rent it out. At the time, I didn’t know it was a remake and I also thought that Wes Craven directed it since it said, “Wes Craven Presents,” so naturally I thought it would be a great movie. From a child’s standpoint, it’s scary… very scary but from a more mature standpoint… well we’ll get to that soon.

Taking out the fact that this is a remake, the movie follows a young bartender named Alex Grant who, as a little girl, saw her mother raped and murdered by Louis Seagram who works as a clown for the local carnival. Emotionally and mentally scarred by this incident, she tries to live a normal life in the town she grew up in but she is constantly reminded of the terrible afternoon when it all happened. As the movie progresses she keeps having apparitions of these deformed monsters harassing her, and soon she begins seeing Louis everywhere even when the police tell her that he’s dead. It all boils down to that fateful night when she first met him at the carnival. Perhaps the only way that she could save her sanity is by going back to the carnival and confronting her demons once and for all.

There were several scenes that scared me and several scenes that would later influence me into becoming a filmmaker. Specifically, the scene that always stood out to me, more than any of the others, was the car wash sequence. It was probably the best scene because it really put you in this nightmarish world and I remember fighting with my mom every time we would go into a car wash, mainly because I didn’t want demons jumping out at me. To describe the scene wouldn’t nearly be as effective if you see it but I’ll try and do my best: as the car enters the car wash we are immediately bombarded with streams and jets of water, that in its own right is pretty creepy, then bright flashes begin to appear all around you and you begin to hear thunder as though you are driving through a storm. People pop out of random to wash your car but they have these faces of anger and sadism in their eyes, soon, you begin hearing these screeches and before you could even find out where they’re coming from some demon with a twisted, mangled face lunges at you. It was frightening for me to see this and I begin to develop a slight fear of car washes.

While on the topic of creatures, I love the creature design in this movie. I remember getting so freaked out by the way they look and they way they jump out at you, that I wanted to know everything about them. I wanted to know how they looked, how they were made and what the name of the effect is where you speed up footage of somebody shaking their head. This would serve as a catalyst for me to inevitably get into the movie making business. My research led me to a movie called Jacob’s Ladder because somebody stated that Carnival of Souls was a rip-off of Jacob’s Ladder. So, I thought Jacob’s Ladder was the original movie that had the “shaky-head ghosts.” Little did I know that the person was talking about the storyline and not the creature effects. But, that scene where all the creatures were sitting around the table staring at you will forever be burned into my brain. I can’t tell you how many times I would pause the tape on that moment and stare at that image, just trying to absorb their image. Honestly, I can go on and on about all the different memories I have attached to this film but I figure you want to know what I think about the movie now.

It’s obvious that I loved this movie as a kid but how does it fare up to now? Honestly, it’s not bad but it’s far from good and that’s if I stretch it out. Let me elaborate on the good things about the film. First off, the production design, though small as it was, was really surreal and very dream like. I’m not just talking about the car wash scene but the scene when Alex is walking through the carnival; there are just subtle visuals that give the carnival this ghostly surreal feel. Take for example, when Alex is walking down the row of carnival games and everybody keeps looking at her as she walks buy, if you look closely their faces are all pale and dead. More specifically, the scene where Alex finally confronts Louis has that nightmarish carnival quality to it and I’m talking about the over-sized bed and the melting clown in the background. I have to hand it to the production for making a really well made movie and the acting isn’t too bad either. It’s certainly not Oscar worthy but it’s better than most horror remakes and the overall tone of the movie wasn’t “glossy,” for lack of a better term.

There is only one problem and that problem affects the entire the entire movie and makes it almost impossible to get through. The story keeps jumping around, first you are in the dream-world (nod to Nightmare on Elm Street), then you’re back into reality, but then reality becomes the dream, then you wake up into realty 2, but that also becomes a dream so you’re constantly trying to figure out where you are in the film. This one problem distracts me from the entire plot and makes it a chore to get through. This was a problem that Jacob’s Ladder and the original Carnival of Souls didn’t have. The original had a set mood, a creepy mood might I add, that didn’t bounce back and forth but rather showed you the progression of this woman’s insanity. Jacob’s Ladder bounced back and forth but because the entire movie was set in the reality, the “dreams” acted as hallucinations and you excepted that Jacob was descending to hell. The end of this remake leaves you left puzzled and angry because all the buildup and all the confusion didn’t pay off. That was a huge problem.

I expected this movie to be awful. I expected to turn it off within the first 10 minutes but I was pleasantly surprised that visually the film is nice but as far as writing goes… that’s another story. It’s not the amazing movie I grew up with and I’ll probably never see it again (at least not for a long time) but I enjoyed watching it for nostalgic reasons. It brought back memories of me anxiously waiting to get home to pop this sucker into the VHS player and watch it all night. It reminded me of being a kid again and even though, to most people, the film is absolute shit it made me smile at times. I don’t think many people are aware that there is a remake of Carnival of Souls, let alone knowing that a movie called Carnival of Souls existed back in the 60’s but perhaps it’s better that way. Perhaps its obscurity would give it cult movie status and maybe that’s the only way people would like it. As for me, I’m just glad I got to revisit the demons of my childhood and I feel as though I should follow this up with Jacob’s Ladder since that was also a childhood favorite. So until then, here’s to you my “shaky headed demons” from the deepest pit of my childhood:

Mental Caries: A Look Inside A Decaying Mind

As a horror fan, when you lay down on the seat to have a dentist drill your mouth for cavities or pick at your teeth for plaque, you probably think about that movie The Dentist. I know I did, though funnily enough I never was afraid of the dentist because of it. No, when I saw this movie (when I was about 11 or 12) all I could think about was how vulnerable my teeth and gums really where. The entire well being of my teeth lied within the hands of my dentist and if he wanted to, he could make me ware braces the rest of my life. I wasn’t scared of my dentist drilling my teeth to bits but rather scared of the idea that he could. Then again, my dentist was a divorcee who turned to the bottle and was suspended of his license when people complained about his alcoholism and shaky hands. Though, this isn’t nearly as bad as Dr. Alan Feinstone. See, the way I remembered The Dentist was that it was a movie with gratuitous teeth torture and a lot of chasing but what the film really is, is an underrated film that drills into the mind of a psychopath. I’d go further into saying that it has the possibility of ranking up there with Psycho and Silence of the Lambs.

The story centers around a very successful dentist named Alan Feinstone. He’s got it all: a beautiful loving wife, a thriving practice and a respectable reputation within the dentistry community. However, when he comes to suspect that his wife may be cheating on him with the pool boy, he discovers that behind every smile of bright white teeth there is decay hard at work. Now, as he slowly begins to loose his grip on sanity, Feinstone begins to try to reason things out but his mind won’t let him. It isn’t long until he decides to slip completely off the deep end and kill those who have done him wrong and those who lie within his path. But the plot goes deeper into Alan’s psyche because once we realize that he is insane, we begin to suspect that perhaps his wife isn’t having an affair but that it might be in his head. Thankfully, in the end of it all, it’s up to you to decide whether all of it was fake or in his head.

So, how, exactly, does the film get inside the mind of Alan Feinstone? It’s very simple. Yuzna does a masterful job at utilizing filters and camera tricks to show Alan’s decent into madness. The entire movie has this ‘Pleasantville’ look; bright colors, luminescent profiles, heavenly whites and bright blue skies but every time we see Feinstone thinking about things… it’s distorted or showing him looking at himself in a mirror. It’s rather genius how they contrast the bright, glamorous lifestyle of a successful Beverly Hills dentist with the distorted, stylized camera angles. That would mean that this movie is visually satisfying and really adds to the distortion of Alan’s mind. It’s a pretty obvious technique to use image distortion and camera filters to show mental insanity but not many people utilize it. There is also the use of close-ups of grease stains, rotting teeth and mud. We are flung into Feinstone’s head as he watches, in disgust, as the pool boy sullies his wife’s clean face. The scary thing is, as the audience, we can’t help but feel disgusted as well, especially when we see brown rotting teeth. Considering Corbin’s performance is already strong, these camera effects only further Feinstone’s character.

Speaking of Feinstone’s character, what makes him such a great candidate for psychological profiling? As I mentioned before, I ranked this film up there with Psycho and Silence and for good reason. Both of those films have such a captivating yet charismatic character that can be analyzed for mental illness and Feinstone is no exception. In fact, I’d have to include Misery on that list as well. What is so captivating about Feinstone is that he is our anti-hero and we aren’t really given the opportunity to bond with the ‘final girl’ or any other character. We right away follow him from his grim discovery of his wife’s affair all the way till the end when he is sent to an institution. In that regard, I love how the film opens up with him addressing us on how everybody has a story. Going deeper into Feinstone’s head we right away understand that he is unstable because he flipped out over his wife for ironing the wrong shirt since his cufflinks didn’t match. Upon seeing his wife engaging in ‘first base’ activities with the pool boy we feel for Feinstone and we start to understand why he hates decay and he lies the metaphor for what Feinstone’s psyche is based on. His wife, dressed in clean white clothes, kisses the pool boy who rubs brown dirt all over her legs. It’s such a perfect metaphor for the act of dirtying perfection and causing decay and plaque. This drives Feinstone over the edge and at first he thinks about killing himself and he becomes sympathetic because he tries so hard to fight his hallucinations, and we watch as he helplessly descends into madness. He begins to think that everybody has dirty teeth, which may be a metaphor for how everybody has dirty secrets but wear masks of innocents. Perhaps he believes that it’s his job to clean up people’s immoral filth.

Throughout the film, Feinstone mumbles to himself on how dentists are underappreciated no matter how hard they work. He brings up a great quote that states how they have to clean people’s teeth and yet we, the patients, hate them for it. It’s very true because we all hate going to the dentist, especially at a young age but yet we don’t realize that the dentist is actually a great person to have around. Our teeth are one of the most important things in our bodies. When Feinstone finally decides to enact his homicidal revenge on his wife and the pool boy, it’s the defining moment and the point of no return. By this point, Alan becomes a full-fledged psychopath and believes that he has to rid plaque-infested human there is. It’s a rather grim but sad turn of events since we were with Feinstone all the way up until this point. It’s a rather tragic turn of events. This is where we get into the really grisly teeth torture where he drills people’s teeth apart, slices tongues and mutilates gums and lips. I couldn’t take these scenes because I have sensitive teeth and to see somebody’s gums ripped to shreds makes me queasy. By this point, Ken Foree says it best, “He’s a man driven over the edge.” All the pressure of taxes, a failing marriage and a reputation to hold up has put so much pressure on him that he finally snapped.

As far as comparing it to when I was a kid, it’s vastly different from what I remembered. Shockingly, I can’t believe that I didn’t have nightmares of teeth torture and dentistry. I was never afraid of my dentist but I hated going to him because of all the fluoride I had to keep in my mouth and the fact that I couldn’t eat for an hour after getting my teeth cleaned. I remember very fondly some of the dental torture and that beautifully shot scene where Feinstone was slashing the pool boy (pictured above). The rest of the film sort of escaped my head for some reason. Looking back on it, if you couldn’t tell, I love this movie but not because of dental horror but rather the characterization. At a young age it was obvious that I didn’t give two shits about Feinstone, I just wanted blood and action. Now, I think Feinstone, while he was thinking about plaque and decay are the best parts of the movie.

All these musing lead me to believe that The Dentist isn’t a typical horror movie. There are no monsters, the killer doesn’t pop out of the closet and there isn’t a ghost haunting anybody. No, this is a hard-boiled film that follows one man’s descent into insanity. Of course there are is blood and the occasional jump scare but otherwise, this movie is horrifying in it’s own right. It’s horrifying because of how Feinstone’s mind works. He’s the perfect psychopath because he believes he is doing good and isn’t aware that he is actually butchering people, and that is the worst kind of monster. In turn, The Dentist is a smart movie that really puts the viewer into Feinstone’s head and offers no sympathy for when things go terribly wrong. It’s a highly underrated movie that has the potential of being one of the most disturbing horror movies out there. In the end, it makes you want to power rub your teeth with alcohol and sandpaper.

Hollywood Video Memories: Rumpelstiltskin (1995)

Ah yes, Rumpelstiltskin. This is a very obscure yet relevant “horror” movie from my childhood. Every time I walked into Blockbuster I would see this VHS box of a freaky looking man smiling and hiding behind a stone door. I kept avoiding for some reason and I guess that’s because I kept finding other movies I wanted to watch. Eventually I caved in and decided to rent it out and as I sat in my dad’s bedroom watching the ridiculously cheesy story unfold, I realized that this would be one of the first in a long line of favorite horror movies for me. At a young age I knew that a lot of fairy tales were dark in their original form and when I saw Snow White (the one with Same Neil and Sigourney Weaver) it further convinced me that perhaps this version of Rumpelstiltskin would be darker and scarier. To my surprise it was neither scary nor set in the appropriate time frame, at least not for the majority of the movie. In fact, I saw it as a fun movie with the occasional scare to it.

The beginning of the movie takes place in the 1400s as Rumpelstiltskin is making off with a baby who he kidnapped after feeling betrayed from spinning the golden yard. Nearly killing the baby, he is imprisoned into a small figurine by a witch for hundreds of years until somebody wishes upon it. Unfortunately, in present day Los Angeles, a grieving windowed mother wishes her husband returns (from the dead). Rumpel comes back, as the husband at first, only to attack the mother and try to steal the baby to make up for the last time he failed. Now, the mother is on the run from Rumpel but he’s not willing to give up. He followers her wherever she goes and destroys anybody that gets in his past that is unless the mother finds a way to destroy him before he gets to her baby.

I was pretty much fresh off the line from seeing Leprechaun so I was ready to watch something of similar ideas but darker. Rumpelstiltskin quenched my thirst for something campy. I always liked how ‘Uncle Rumpel’ reacted to the many modern inventions that were in present day (1995) Los Angeles. Case in point: calling a motorcycle a black steed or noting the amount of blacksmiths it took to create an 18-wheeler semi truck. More importantly, for a movie that was based on a fairy tale it was quite graphic. Rumpel claws somebody’s eyes out, gets a broom shoved down his throat, gets runned over, pulls his head off and gets sliced in half. For a little guy he sure endured and loved pain. I loved how his lingo was sort of some weird modern English/Medieval hybrid. He would say, “Fucketh me!” and I would grin in pleasure knowing what it meant and how they chose to hide the word beneath the lingo. As I grew older and started to explore newer movies, three scenes from the film always stuck out to me and remained in my memory until now. The first was seeing Rumpelstilltskin choke some big guy, in the beginning, and hoisting him off a cliff. The second was seeing Rumpelstiltskin driving a truck and the last scene was seeing somebody running and having their head blown off. Obviously this movie meant a lot to me.

You could only imagine how surprised and pleased I was when I found it available for Netflix Instant. I couldn’t believe that another childhood classic was within a click away from my viewing. This movie is a perfect example of how my film taste has progressed throughout the years. Yes, this movie is awful but not unwatchable. I found myself cringing over the lines I once found humorous and cool. I shook my head over scenes that would put a sparkle in my eyes and I shrilled at the ‘gore’ when I realized that it wasn’t that gory at all. I didn’t expect much from a straight-to-VHS movie and to be honest… I went in thinking that I would find it mediocre. I came out of the movie thinking that it was slightly below mediocrity. I’m convinced that this movie, unlike the last two childhood movies I watched, knew how bad it was so it decided to have fun. The problem is that it’s fun only to the person having it. In other words, you might find banging your head into a wall fun but to the rest of the world… it looks stupid. To show you just how ridiculous this movie is, here some scenes that I couldn’t believe.

Here is Rumpelstiltskin driving a motorcycle and laughing for no reason on it.

Here is Rumpelstiltskin driving a truck while smoking on a cigar. Stating, “Just what I need. Another bad habit,” before taking a big puff.

Here is Rumpelstiltskin employing the age-old cliché of guiding your headless body to your severed head.

As a kid it’s obvious that I was no student of film, however after taking film classes it sort of skewed view of watching movies. Back then I didn’t really care for the technicalities of this film, I just liked the special effects and action. As I watched it now, I couldn’t help but notice just how bad some of the voice replacement and dubbing were. Sure, this is an indie film and I am nit picking but it sort of took me out of the story. An example would be when Rumpelstiltskin is chasing Max, who’s in a go-kart, Max is constantly yelling and saying things like, “Oh jeeze! Oh jeeze! Hey Rumpel, can we talk this over? Huh? Oooohhhh! Arrgghhh! Rocks!” Not only is it just plain annoying but also the voice has no sense of location. Additionally, some shot choices and editing decisions didn’t make sense and the acting was piss poor. The entire film was littered with songs that came from the 80s, everybody seemed to dress like they were puked up from 1987 and the coloring seemed really saturated at times. All this made me question whether the film was truly made in the 90’s or whether it was filmed in the 80s and released in the 90’s. I never had to ask myself that question before.

Though there is a light at the end of this tunnel. As cheap as they may seem, I still dug the special effects. The makeup they applied to the actor who played Stiltskin was pretty damn good considering they were on a budget. Aside from a few minor times, I felt like his skin was actually that dented, scarred and potholed. When Rumpel is split in half he begins to crawl towards the baby and you get to see the slimy, wet intestines falling out of his body and I really enjoyed that. Sure you could tell that everything was pretty much KY jelly and latex but you have to admire the FX guy’s confidence in trying to make something as good as possible. I will say this; a select few effects look better than any modern CGI dismemberment scenes you’d fine today. If a movie like this looks more real than a modern blockbuster, I think it’s time to rethink your strategy.

I sort of expected this movie to be bad so I wasn’t too disappointed but I wish I had the mentality of a kid sometimes. I guess it’s the only way that I would enjoy this. I’ve heard some people say that you should leave your childhood movies alone, especially the ones that scare you to preserve your childhood ignorance. I think I should have probably done so in this case because now that I know how cheesy this movie is, I don’t think I could ever have the view of it that I once had as a kid. Perhaps it was curiosity, then again… curiosity killed the cat.

Hollywood Video Memories: Milo (1998)

Another great obscure horror movie I use to watch when I was younger was an indie horror movie called Milo; you know the one with the killer kid in a yellow raincoat? It’s a very obscure movie and it was marketed to include, “from the creators of Anaconda.” Well, I remember seeing the trailer on some old VHS’ from our local library (specifically on the VHS for ShadowBuilder and The Dentist) so when I found it at the bottom shelf of the horror section at Hollywood Video, I just had rent it out. There was just something about the trailer that caught my eye and maybe it was because of how it was edited. I’ll always remember that image of him standing in the middle of the road with his bike and the awkward yet tacky way those girls swung on the swing set. I guess it’s because it was one of the first trailers that I watched and went, “oh c’mon, it’s probably not even that good.”

Well it turns out that I was right, to a point. I don’t remember ever getting scared by it but rather enjoyed it for being fun. I think I was spoiled by Child’s Play at the time, which was the only “killer kid” movie that I knew of and Chucky wasn’t even a kid. Since a majority of the film was sporadic scenes of shocking involving Milo and his victim, I would often use the movie as white noise for when I drew. I use to draw a lot when I watched movie and I would rent out Milo so that I could draw the VHS box cover, but I would need put Milo on so that I can have white noise to draw to. It’s a complicated cycle. It wouldn’t be till the end that I got really into it. It was the only time where I would actually stop what I was doing and get all excited, waiting for Milo to pop out of nowhere. Even then it wouldn’t be scary, just thrilling. Sort of like how you anticipate an explosion in an action movie.

So what is the movie about? Well, it’s quite simple. A young woman returns to her hometown and takes up a job as a teacher at the school she once went to. Unfortunately, her past involved her witnessing the murder of one of her friends by a deranged boy named Milo. Now, sixteen years later Milo came back… from the dead looking the same way he did years go to re-unite with his only love and kill her. It’s a very interesting story that I didn’t really understand as a kid so I naturally assumed that Milo was a zombie, but he’s more than just a zombie… he’s something entirely different.

Almost 11 years later I revisited this movie since I found it on Netflix Instant and I thought it was decent. It was nowhere near as entertaining as I hoped or remember but it gave me a great sense of nostalgia. I liked how it was more than just a serial killer movie because otherwise it would have been really stupid. I personally believe that if it were given to the right people, they could have really expanded on Milo as a character. There is just so much that could be played around with. I guess the only real part of the movie that I enjoyed (and wanted to hear more of) was Milo’s back-story. It’s so gritty and disturbing that they make Milo seem like he’s a monster or something. I wanted to hear more and since they keep showing the empty glass with his birthday on it, it would only make sense that they would build upon it. I know the tagline compared Milo to other great horror movie villains like Jason and Freddy Krueger (tagline: Jason and Freddy were kids once, too) and I think Milo had the potential of being a great horror villain, even if he was only in a straight to VHS movie.

There were only two real problems that I had with this movie and that’s maybe because I’ve learned so much about movie/video audio and editing that it sticks out like a sore thumb. In the first half of the movie, there are a couple of scenes where the character is talking from afar and you can’t hear them because their voice is echoing. It’s almost as though they didn’t have an extra and strong enough microphone so they decided to leave it in. it only happens about 2 or 3 times so it’s not a big deal. The other problem that I had was with Milo’s voice, considering I build this movie up in my head for years it was kind of anticlimactic to hear him sound like a 23 year old with a bad cold. That was my fault but now I’m being too critical. Should you watch the movie?

I think that all depends on what your taste in movies is. If you like really campy straight-to-video fare, than boy is this a treat for you. If you enjoy anything outside the camp or cornball subgenre, than I would stay away from this movie. I found it just a tad disappointing because I thought I would still love it like I do with Proteus. Although I am glad that I did manage to see it as soon as I did because it gave me a chance to see, first hand, how my feelings towards certain movies changed. I use to love the most stupid shit but I’m sure that can be said for anybody. But to demonstrate, I once had an obsession for Darkness Falls because I thought it was one of the best horror movies out there. Needless to say, I was wrong. Milo can take out the tooth fairy with a flick of his bicycle wheel.

Side note: I always found it creepy that Milo used a kid to screw around with the teacher's head. I think this movie made me afraid of kids in yellow raincoats for a while. Funnily enough, I had a yellow raincoat as a kid too. And no, that's not what Milo looks like. Although, I believe he was in the Little Rascals movie.

Hollywood Video Memories: Proteus (1997)

Back when I was younger, between the ages of 10 and 12, I would often tempt my dad into taking me to Hollywood Video, which was a huge privilege for me because it cost to rent movies from there. Well, they would always have a very obscure but better collection of horror movies than our local library and one VHS tape caught my eyes. That film was called Proteus and I guess what captured my attention was just the look of the VHS box cover; the way you see this horrible monster snarling at you while hatching out of an egg. Even the tagline, “In the middle of the ocean. A new form of horror is taking shape,” just begged me to pick up the box and check it out. I only saw this film about 2 or 3 times but it left such a huge impression on me.

The scene that did it for me, or the scene that made me cover my eyes and scream was when the group of stranded people were eating in the mess hall when suddenly they all hear this crashing sound that’s getting closer. Then, the camera would turn into the POV of the monster speeding closer and closer to the hall. As the crashing got closer, so did the growling and you never see what was coming towards them but you can only imagine that it’s big and pissed off, whatever it was. That scene alone would terrify me and was one of the contributing factors as to why I love it when you never see what the monster fully looks like. Of course, as I see it today it doesn’t have the same effect but it’s still pretty frightening in a general sense.

Now that I have rambled about how I felt towards the movie a few years back, I think I should go ahead and elaborate on what it’s about. The movie is typical creature feature formula as it should be. A group of drug smugglers end up boarding a deserted oilrig after their yacht exploded during a piloting accident. While exploring the oilrig looking for people to help them out, they soon realize that the entire place is deserted and before long they come to discover that it was all a giant cover-up. See, the oilrig is a smokescreen for a secret project involving genetics but whatever that experiment was has become loose and now the stranded people must fight for their lives against the genetically created menace.

The name of the creature in this film is called Charlie and ever since I could remember, that name has stuck with me up until now. Every time I see a monster movie I feel compelled to name it Charlie. I feel as though I should also note that before I ever wanted to go into film, I wanted to be a geneticist because I had the misplaced idea that I could create horrible monsters like Charlie (yeah, I was a little twisted back then). In turn, horror movies that involved abandoned laboratories ore monster-run-amok stories always interested me. I loved hearing all the different imaginative scientific processes that went into creating the monster and I would use those explanations to sound smart when I went to school the following week. I can’t tell you how many times I told my friends that my uncle made Charlie to my classmates.

But enough about me, what about the movie? Is it worth seeing? Is it good? Well, it’s certainly not the greatest movie of all time; it was a straight-to-VHS movie that you’d probably find in the $5 at Wal-Mart. However, it’s not a bad movie either. It’s fun, it’s campy and it’s pretty graphic. I liked it and for being an indie movie made in the mid 90’s, it has some pretty outstanding creature effects. See, that’s what I miss about the old days… indie movie directors took their craft serious and wanted to make honest horror movies and not try to dull the genre down by creating shitty horror comedies. This movie set out to scare its audience and though they may not have succeeded, their effort was still valiant. Even now, as I watched it, I couldn’t help but feel that kids today might still be freaked out by it. Additionally, you’ll have to understand that it can be pretty cheesy and campy at times but I think that only adds to the fact that it should be a midnight movie.

I think it should also be known that this film bears a striking resemblance to my favorite horror movie of all time; you guessed it, The Thing. It’s a very uncanny resemblance because even some of the creature design looks and sounds the same. Consider this: Charlie hijacks his victims DNA and assumes the physical appearance of anything that it genetically molds with. So if he were to mold with a shark, he would take on the physical likeness of a shark and that would also go with people that he molds with. Now, The Thing does the exact same thing. It devours and replicates itself based on what it’s victim looks like only it does this on a cellular level rather than a genetic DNA based level. By the end of the movie, paranoia sweeps the remaining survivors and you are wondering who is who. I will probably elaborate on this when I begin my Thing Week this June.

C'mon, doesn't that remind you of that goopy pile of dog meat from The Thing?

Overall, Proteus may not be the best horror movie ever made but its heart is in the right place. It was a great time for me to watch a film that I used to watch as a kid and it took me back to those days. Of course I am bias but that should be understood. I might have looked at this movie differently if I saw it for the first time. So, if you want a good midnight movie or if you have a hankering for a cheesy 90’s creature feature, give this indie film a watch. Just be sure to not take it too seriously, doing so may result in permanent genetic disfigurement.

THE QUEST FOR THE VIDEO NASTY

Ladies and gentlemen I have decided to embark on a quest of epic nostalgia and clarity. This quest will determine if I am really a die-hard horror fan, it will determine if I am the great adventurer that I say that I am and it will prove to myself that I can accomplish anything if I put my mind to it. Am I really up to this challenge? I’m not sure but there is only one way to find out. What is it that I am searching for, you may ask? A long time ago my dad bought me a Spectrum version of Xtro and since then I have sold it to a video store for some quick cash. I found an old list of films that I created on March of 2001, and this listed was labeled ‘The Video Nasties.’ I sat in my chair looking through the list pondering the question of how I even knew bout the Video Nasties before I even knew about film editing. It didn’t matter to me because I wanted to complete my quest that I started 9 years ago. It will be long, tedious and very time consuming but I have decided to give myself a few rules.

With the help of Dale Lloyd, I have given myself a few rules to this hunt. Back when I created the list I only wanted to find the movies themselves and didn’t think about what made a video nasty a Video Nasty. So the first rule is: trying to find out what a video nasty is. The answer to that is this: it’s a film or video that was heavily criticized, mostly by British conservatives, for being too graphic and violent especially if it fell into the hands of kids. Therefore, the video would end up on a list of films (mostly low-budget and Italian films) that were dubbed as Video Nasties. This, however, was during a time when VHS and videocassette were popular. These films were released way before the Video Recordings Act of 1984 and because of that they weren’t properly certified causing many of them to be banned.

During my quest, under the advisement of Mr. Lloyd, I have decided to find these videos in their original pre-cert format. Which means most of them, if not all of them, will have to be bought through eBay.uk. It’s funny because I had a pre-cert video of Xtro and I sold it before I even knew how collectable it is. Also, during my quest I will have to discover new lingos such as DPP39, NTSC and PAL. I will also be learning how to covert British pounds to American dollars and I will be meeting a lot of VHS enthusiasts along the way.

This quest is going to be ongoing until I managed to find all of them in their original pre-cert form. It will be a very interesting journey and I can sort of see this as a horror fans treasure hunt. The only map I have is a list that I created 9 years ago with a couple of little side notes here and there. I also understand that there is a documentary on Video Nasties that I have not seen yet, and during my journey I am sure I will be running across it. Below is the list of Video Nasties that I have and I have not scanned the original list… but when some time this week I shall try to. It’s very interesting how I was interested in this specific sub-genre before I even knew about film noir.

Absurd

The Athropophagous Beast

The Beast In Heat

Blood Feast

Blood Rites

Bloody Moon

The Boogeyman

The Burning

Cannibal Apocalypse

Cannibal Ferox

Cannibal Holocaust

Cannibal Man

Cannibal Terror

Contamination

Dead & Buried

Deep River Savages

Delirium

Devil Hunter

Don’t Go in the Woods

Don’t Go in the House

Don’t Go Near the Dark

The Dorm That Dripped Blood

The Driller Killer

The Evil Dead

Evilspeak

Expose

Faces of Death

Fight For Your Life

Flesh For Frankenstein

Toxic Zombies

Frozen Scream

The House by the Cemetery

House on the Edge of the Park

Human Experiments

I Spit on Your Grave

Inferno

Killer Nun

Last House on the Left

Lat Night Trains

Living Dead At Manchester Morgue

Mardi Gras Massacre

New York Ripper

Night of the Bloody Apes

Night of the Demon

Night Warning

Nightmare in a Damaged Brain

Possession

Revenge of the Bogey Man

The Slayer

Tenebrae

Terror Eyes

The Toolbox Murders

Twitch of the Death Nerve

Unhinged

Visiting Hours

Werewolf and the Yeti

The Witch Who Came From the Sea

Xtro

Zombie Creeping Flesh

Zombi

I am sure that I am missing some on the list but this was directly written from the list I created when I was 11 or so. That means that I probably left out some of movies off of it because I didn’t think they were horror or I just didn’t want to watch them. Now, this is a LONG list of movies and it will probably take me years to find all of them and sure… I might get a little anxious and annoyed and settle for non-pre-cert films but as of right now the quest has begun.

If anybody knows of any places that I can find good deals on Video Nasties, please let me know. Thank you!!

Helpful links:

The Video Nasty Project

A-Z of Video Nasties

Pre-Certification Video List

Pre-Certification Video

Side note: I created the graphic before I started calling my hunt a quest. ;)

The Horrors of Embassy Home Video

In effort to try to get some writing done, I will post another edition of Video Store Horrors and this weekend shall be Embassy Home Entertainment. Back when I began to loose interest in my library’s selection of videos I turned to other outlets like Hollywood Video, Block Buster, Family Video Store and a local store called Video Vault. While searching through these stores, mainly Video Vault, I came across a number of horror movies from Embassy that I would rent over and over again. See, I only remember Embassy for its jingle because I would constantly whistle to it. When people ask me where I got it from I would say that I took it from a video company logo… and they would in turn away from me and think I was a freak.

Below are the Embassy videos that I used to watch as a kid courtesy of Critical Condition.

They Came From The Video Store

In effort to preserve some of my greatest childhood memories I have decided to create an article that shares some of the most memorable trailers that I came by as a beginner horror fan. A few of these movies I have never seen, and probably never will, but they all meant something that would later help me in the career that I want to go in. As trivial as it may seem, these trailers taught me the importance of video editing and the importance a movie trailer is for the overall film. Certain edit techniques are used in all of these trailers to give the movie a larger than life feel when in actuality they are some of the worst movies made. It taught me that the trailer for a movie is essentially a lie and that was very important if you want to get into the filmmaking business. I look back on these trailers not with hate but with nostalgia and I am sure if I ever do see some of these movies, I’ll have a great time laughing at them. Remember, these trailers came from the video store rental days, so they may see dated.

MILO


ASYLUM OF THE DAMNED


THE DENTIST


THE DENTIST 2


SHADOWBUILDER


WARLOCK 2: THE ARMAGEDDON


LOST VOYAGE


HALLOW'S END


DECOYS


CARNIVORE


CARNIVAL OF SOULS (1998)

July 4th Recommendation

With everybody celebrating our Independence from Britain years, and years, and years ago it’s a great time to dish out the hot dogs, hamburgers, lemonade, watermelon and chips. It’s also a great day to kick back and watch some real shitty movies. Yes, for you horror fans I would like to recommend a very special and very shitty movie for your entertainment. It’s a movie that has been with me since I was about 9-years-old and even then I thought it was a movie that shouldn’t be made. I recommend this movie:

This movie finds a recently deceased war vet rising from the grave, dressing up as Uncle Sam and killing and slaughtering unpatriotic townsfolk. What more can you want in this true American movie that really goes the extra mile and prompts pure patriotism to our wonderful country? So make sure you do your taxes, avoid any flag burnings, slap those dogs on the grill and kick back to watch this steaming pile of red, white and blue carnage.

Remember, Uncle Sam wants you… dead!

A Stroll Down VHS Lane

Lately I have been feeling really nostalgic and I guess that’s because it’s summer and my buddy and I have been planning a 90s day since last October, so to celebrate that I decided to take a trip down Memory Lane or should I say… VHS Lane. Yes, I’m coming back to the VHS days of the 90s and possibly 80s. A while ago I posted an article about why I love VHS’ and the memories that came with it but today I think I will reminisce on some of my favorite VHS horror movies that I used to watch. It’s important to note that some of these movies I do not like any more because they are really bad, but you have to understand that the oldest I recall ever watching these was about 11-years-old. So without further adieu, I present to you the movies:

This was one of those movies that… for some reason, I loved. The effects are really dated now but my God did I go crazy every time something happened. It bares a lot of resemblance to Arachnid, which I didn’t see until later on.

Oh boy, this was a slow-moving film as I recall. Although it did have a eerie atmosphere that always kept me on edge. I don’t recall ever getting scared from it but it kept me entertained enough to rent the movie 15 times after I saw it.

I remember this movie because it looked awesome and the font they used to spell out the title peaked my artistic instincts. I watched it and I thought it was beyond awesome. As I look back on it now, it’s stupid, it’s poorly shot, it’s not even suspenseful and the effects are laughable.

Back in the day, I could quote this movie inside and out. Not only did it have one of the best kills scenes involving an asshole realtor but it also had Van Dien, Englund and Zabka. Plus, I marveled at how awesome the CGI was. It’s not a bad movie, even now. This was the first movie I recorded from the VHS onto another VHS.

What could be said about this movie? I remember it having a very slow start but picking up in the middle. I was always afraid of the dentist because of the sound the drill made and the fact that I kept watching it only heightened my fear.

I was never scared of this movie but I do remember watching it over and over because of how fun it was. I had to have been about 10 or so and I remember seeing one of the most trippiest hospital scenes ever. Hell, to scare some of my friends I actually created an urban legend based on this movie.

I’m hoping to do a video review of this someday but like Python, I can quote this movie inside and out. I loved the ridiculous acting, the nods to other horror films, the incredible soundtrack and the gore. All of which made my 11-yearl-old brain happy. Rest in pieces… motherfucker!

I wore the hell out of this tape because of how many times I rewound the scene where the old guy gets crushed by the telephone pole. As a kid, this was one of those incredibly brutal and haunting movies because it had Satan himself attacking this small town. It’s dated and really corny but that’s okay.

And of course, Milo. What an awful movie but somehow I gravitated to it. I never understood why but I guess it’s because it had one of those imposing trailers that I saw at the time. If my memory is correct it was on the VHS tape for Shadowbuilder. Strange.

So there you have it, little piece of my childhood preserved inside the VHS tapes of these films. Each one connecting back to a day in my life where I used to act out all the scenes and close m eyes in fear. Though some of the movies are really bad, I could never completely hate them because of how they affected me as a kid. In fact, the movies above are probably the first line of horror films I was ever exposed to and somewhere in that mix is The Blob ’88 and The Thing.

So , what were some of your favorite VHS horror movies as a kid?

VHS Horror Memories

Have you ever looked at an old VHS copy of an even older film and thinking to yourself “man, I remember when I saw that… on VHS?” Today, I want to talk about something that should only be discussed with people who love nostalgia and to those who can respect the olden days for what they were. I am talking about VHS horror memories. Back when us horror fans would pop in a tape into the VCR and we would watch an obscure horror movie as though it was playing in a theater. I am a strong advocate that VHS is somewhat superior to DVD but I also believe that the only way to truly watch some horror movies are by watching them on an old dusty VHS tape back from the 80s or 90s.

See, the way I see it… DVDs are good when you want to watch for clarity and when you want to watch a more modern horror movie or even an action movie. Some people like DVDs because they take up less storage, there are features, it has a menu and the sound is good. All good reasons and I agree with it. But, when it’s a dark stormy night I think that watching a horror movie on a scratch VHS tape is the best way to go. Think about it; when you watch a VHS tape, you get that grainy effect that you often see in theaters and don’t forget the sudden audio jumps. Most people would look at these as though they were flaws, which they are, but us nostalgia guys look at it as a trademark for that format. Vinyl’s scratch and when a vinyl guru hears a record scratch, its music to his ears. Film collectors love the sound of reel changing and VHS collectors love the sound of audio jumps and dial tone sounds.

The other day I popped in Fright Night into the VCR and as I watched it I remembered the time when VHS or even Betamax (My dad had all this old stuff) dominated. I loved how VHS used to start the movie off in widescreen then shift to full screen, those periodic film scratches or the thin slanted heading at the top of the screen. Here is my argument: you have a really shitty movie, or a really cheesy movie that you love and you watch it on DVD and the transfer is so bad because the original print was bad. The movie that comes to mind is Bloody Birthday. It’s a case like that where I would recommend seeing it on a VHS because the quality won’t change but at least with a tape you can feel vintage for a bit.

There was a discussion on a forum that I belong to and one of the members stated that it takes a certain bad, cheesy or classic horror movie to be watched on VHS. He went on to state that he retains the idea that some horror movies need to be watched on VHS tape. I agree with this statement. Even movies like Halloween or Fright Night are VHS kinds of films because you cannot beat the graininess.

Some might even ask me why I like VHS, to a degree, more than DVD… and that just goes with the way VHS is. With a DVD, if you get tired and you want to stop the DVD you have to stop the whole movie then when you wake up find the place that you left off and watch the rest. With a VHS, you stop, turn off the set, wake up and then start where you turned it off. Little mundane things like that. I still have more DVD then VHS but I still enjoy the format

I asked around and a couple of people gave me some of their movies that they would like to see on VHS or they would rather see on VHS than DVD and here it is:

Nosferatu
Last House on the Left
Zombi
Blood Diner
Bloody Birthday
The Video Dead
Garbage Pail Kids (though not horror)
Street Trash
80s slasher movies
Any Italian horror movie

Side note: A vast majority of the horror movies that people would rather see on VHS belong in the slasher, cheesy grindhouse genre. Surprising? I think not.

DVD Hunting

 Today was a bust, I was looking around for the VHS copy of a movie called “The Video Dead” so I decided to go to Goodwill to see if they have it… they should have since most of the tapes they have there are terrible. Instead I found “The Lost World: Jurassic Park,” “Army of Darkness” and “Fright Night.” Alas, no “Video Dead.” I also wanted to check to see if they had ‘World War Z,’ but again they had nothing. I left in shame and in defeat.

Although, today I did manage to pick up “The Terminator” and “My Bloody Valentine 3D” so I am excited to watch them. I also had the extreme pleasure of picking up a copy of ‘Zombie Survival Guide,’ so I am even more excited. Although I wanted to also buy a book that analyzed ‘Videodrom’ and how zombies became a part of pop culture around the world but stupid Borders wants me to buy $150 worth of stuff so that I can get $5 off my next purchase.

I think that is kind of a rip off.