They Came From The Video Store

In effort to preserve some of my greatest childhood memories I have decided to create an article that shares some of the most memorable trailers that I came by as a beginner horror fan. A few of these movies I have never seen, and probably never will, but they all meant something that would later help me in the career that I want to go in. As trivial as it may seem, these trailers taught me the importance of video editing and the importance a movie trailer is for the overall film. Certain edit techniques are used in all of these trailers to give the movie a larger than life feel when in actuality they are some of the worst movies made. It taught me that the trailer for a movie is essentially a lie and that was very important if you want to get into the filmmaking business. I look back on these trailers not with hate but with nostalgia and I am sure if I ever do see some of these movies, I’ll have a great time laughing at them. Remember, these trailers came from the video store rental days, so they may see dated.

MILO


ASYLUM OF THE DAMNED


THE DENTIST


THE DENTIST 2


SHADOWBUILDER


WARLOCK 2: THE ARMAGEDDON


LOST VOYAGE


HALLOW'S END


DECOYS


CARNIVORE


CARNIVAL OF SOULS (1998)

A Stroll Down VHS Lane

Lately I have been feeling really nostalgic and I guess that’s because it’s summer and my buddy and I have been planning a 90s day since last October, so to celebrate that I decided to take a trip down Memory Lane or should I say… VHS Lane. Yes, I’m coming back to the VHS days of the 90s and possibly 80s. A while ago I posted an article about why I love VHS’ and the memories that came with it but today I think I will reminisce on some of my favorite VHS horror movies that I used to watch. It’s important to note that some of these movies I do not like any more because they are really bad, but you have to understand that the oldest I recall ever watching these was about 11-years-old. So without further adieu, I present to you the movies:

This was one of those movies that… for some reason, I loved. The effects are really dated now but my God did I go crazy every time something happened. It bares a lot of resemblance to Arachnid, which I didn’t see until later on.

Oh boy, this was a slow-moving film as I recall. Although it did have a eerie atmosphere that always kept me on edge. I don’t recall ever getting scared from it but it kept me entertained enough to rent the movie 15 times after I saw it.

I remember this movie because it looked awesome and the font they used to spell out the title peaked my artistic instincts. I watched it and I thought it was beyond awesome. As I look back on it now, it’s stupid, it’s poorly shot, it’s not even suspenseful and the effects are laughable.

Back in the day, I could quote this movie inside and out. Not only did it have one of the best kills scenes involving an asshole realtor but it also had Van Dien, Englund and Zabka. Plus, I marveled at how awesome the CGI was. It’s not a bad movie, even now. This was the first movie I recorded from the VHS onto another VHS.

What could be said about this movie? I remember it having a very slow start but picking up in the middle. I was always afraid of the dentist because of the sound the drill made and the fact that I kept watching it only heightened my fear.

I was never scared of this movie but I do remember watching it over and over because of how fun it was. I had to have been about 10 or so and I remember seeing one of the most trippiest hospital scenes ever. Hell, to scare some of my friends I actually created an urban legend based on this movie.

I’m hoping to do a video review of this someday but like Python, I can quote this movie inside and out. I loved the ridiculous acting, the nods to other horror films, the incredible soundtrack and the gore. All of which made my 11-yearl-old brain happy. Rest in pieces… motherfucker!

I wore the hell out of this tape because of how many times I rewound the scene where the old guy gets crushed by the telephone pole. As a kid, this was one of those incredibly brutal and haunting movies because it had Satan himself attacking this small town. It’s dated and really corny but that’s okay.

And of course, Milo. What an awful movie but somehow I gravitated to it. I never understood why but I guess it’s because it had one of those imposing trailers that I saw at the time. If my memory is correct it was on the VHS tape for Shadowbuilder. Strange.

So there you have it, little piece of my childhood preserved inside the VHS tapes of these films. Each one connecting back to a day in my life where I used to act out all the scenes and close m eyes in fear. Though some of the movies are really bad, I could never completely hate them because of how they affected me as a kid. In fact, the movies above are probably the first line of horror films I was ever exposed to and somewhere in that mix is The Blob ’88 and The Thing.

So , what were some of your favorite VHS horror movies as a kid?

The Worst of Blockbuster Horror Movies

Today’s post is something that I am trying out and something that I always wanted to do for a long time. Back when I started watching diverse horror movies I would always go to Blockbuster or Hollywood Video for my horror fix. I decided to do a list of all the bad horror movies that I saw from Blockbuster that I never even heard of until I saw the cover. This is the worse horror movies that Blockbuster had.

1995

• Leprechaun 3 – At first I liked this movie until I realized that they had turned a good dark horror comedy into just a mockery. Truly tasteless.
• The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation – This was a movie that was a disappointment to the TCM franchise and some of the most stupidest things in it.
• The Mangler – Atmospherically, this movie is amazing but the plot is very off and the special effects were awful near the end.

1996

• Leprechaun 4: In Space – I watched 20 minutes of this when I was 8 and I turned it off because they took the mockery one step further.
• Killer Tongue – Accompanied with a bad plot, bad effects and really bad humor, what did this movie in, ultimately, was the dialogue.
• Head of the Family – I would not consider this horror at all because it was so long and drawn out and the movie had way too much sex in it.
• Pinocchio’s Revenge – This movie was cheap, deplorable and it wasn't even excited to keep my attention.

1997

• Uncle Sam – This could have been a really good movie but instead it turned into a reall bad, unappealing, messy, laughable movie.
• An American Werewolf in Paris – A good example of taking a good film and making a shitty sequel with shitty CGI, a shitty plot and a shitty cast.

1998

• Halloween: H2O – I found this movie suprisingly boring and not anywhere near as atmospheric as the original.
• Carnival of Souls – Bad acting, bad plot, bad scares and really shitty sex makes this movie unbearable.
• From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money – This film was a disaster because it lacks the two-in-one feel as the original and witty dialogue of QT.
• Strangeland – What could have been a really good movie turned out to be a really bad and really tasteless film.
• Sometimes They Come Back… For More – I don’t know how they made a remake to a really mediocre movie in the first place but it wasn’t scary and really stupid.

1999

• Komodo – With bad CGI, bad acting a really shitty forced plot, this film was hard to watch all the way through.
• From Dusk Till Dawn 3: The Hangman’s Daughter – See 1998.
• Believe – Honestly, this film was boring, I t was going by so slow and there was hardly any kind of shock value to it.
• Camp Blood – All I did while watching this movie was laugh my ass off and notice that it was a ripoff off of Friday the 13th and The Burning.

Well, there it is… some truly bad films that I rented out of Blockbuster, but there were some good films that I rented. In fact, there were more good videos that I rented then there were bad films and that will be my next list.

Note: The poster above each year is the worse Blockbuster movie of that year.