Thursday, December 10, 2009
The Good and Bad of Holiday Horror
Presents = How good a movie is. The more presents, the better it is.
Coal = How bad a movie is. The more coal, the worse it is.
So, let’s begin.
GOOD
Black Christmas (1974) – This was one of the first few slasher movies ever to hit the big screen and with a great tone and some really clever scare tactics, this movie builds up an atmosphere that is both scary and haunting. I had a blast watching this and it truly is a memorable horror film.
9 presents out of 10.
Christmas Evil (1980) – This was actually a really good movie and even though it had a very slow build-up to a climactic ending, the movie built character development and made you feel for the antihero. It had some great kills and some pretty disturbing scenes but you can’t help but feel sorry for Harry.
7 presents out of 10.
Gremlins (1984) – Though, I wouldn’t call this a horror; it’s a great creature feature. It has all the conventions of any monster movie, mixed with some violent cartoon humor and of course the Gremlins… this is a holiday treat that cannot be missed. It’s so wacky and it has some amazing puppetry and physical comedy.
9 presents out of 10.
All Through the House (1989) – Now this was a good Christmas themed slasher. It had the Christmas atmosphere of Black Christmas and it was really tense and scary. Even though it was from "Tales form the Crypt," Zemeckis proves that he can do a great horror flick.
8 presents out of 10.
Jack Frost (1996) – At first, I wasn’t much of a fan of this movie but then I realized that it had a pretty dark sense of humor and some pretty nifty ways to kill somebody. The story is also interesting and I really enjoyed the puns that the massive amounts of gore. A true diamond in the rough for the winter season.
7 presents out of 10.
BAD
Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) – Though, out of the ‘Bad’ list, this movie isn’t really that bad but it is plagued with shitty acting, some continuity errors and little to no scare value. I do credit the movie for being really controversial but that’s the only thing this movie has going for.
7 lumps of coal.
Black Christmas (2006) – This was one of the worse remakes of the 21st Century and took a beloved Christmas slasher and glossed it up with an unnecessary back story and it had one of the worse twist endings in horror history. There was nothing likeable about this, not one single thing.
9 lumps of coal.
P2 (2007) – The concept for this movie was really good and I thought it would be a good movie but it turned into a crap fest that kept getting shittier. I hated the protagonist and the killer was just idiotic. I think they could have really done some new things by abusing the setting of a parking lot but they didn’t and it turned out bad.
8 lumps of coal.
Well, there is my list of the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’ Christmas horror films of all time. It wasn’t really that difficult but I did notice that I did not see that many Christmas horror films and there were a bunch of films that I have missed. Below are a list of ‘undecided’ films that I have not seen but want to:
UNDECIDED
Silent Night, Bloody Night (1974)
Santa Claws (1996)
A Christmas Nightmare (2001)
Santa’s Slay (2005)
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Top 10 Favorite Horror TV Shows
So I decided to do a top 10 list of my favorite horror TV shows… so here is the disclaimer: this is not a top 10 list about all the horror TV shows out there, these are my personal picks so don’t be alarmed if not every one is on here. Also, this covers all sorts of horror shows including kids TV shows, cartoons and adult shows as well. Plus, there is an honorable mention.
10. Eerie Indiana – I remember this show since it always came on after Goosebumps and it was lighter version of it. There were some weird and strange things that were covered in this anthology but nothing really that horror… it pushed the lines of Sci-fi. Plus, the effects for a kids TV show were amazing. The one episode that I remember had to deal with giant ants using humans as harvesters for their ant food. Fucking creepy, but still worth my viewing.
9. Unsolved Mysteries – This was a bizarre TV show hosted by Robert Stack that tapped into murders and occurrences that were never solved because of some sort of supernatural ability. What always got me about this TV show were the reenactments… they were so creepy and stylish. They used voyeuristic shots, dark atmosphere and high contrast lighting. Some of the shadowy imagery scared me, and that music… I will never get that theme out of my head.

From Blogger Pictures
8. Kolchak: The Night Stalker – This was a show that I was all too familiar with since it inspired The X-Files, but I was never able to watch all the episodes. What I do remember was that there were some creepy episodes involving aliens, werewolves and androids. This was an show that I rarely had the pleasure to watch but when I did it was pretty thrilling… although, I was already a bit numbed down from The X-Files.
7. Night Gallery – I was a huge fan of this show’s TV renditions of H.P. Lovecraft tales. It reminded me a lot of Twilight Zone but some of their adaptations were very well done. The one episode that I remember because it scared the piss out of me was an episode called ‘The Doll.’ I mean… out of all the horror movies that have evil dolls; this one stands out as the scariest.
6. Are You Afraid of the Dark? – This was a show that was sort of like the show Goosebumps considering it was made for kids and it featured original ideas rather then stories based off of books. The one thing that separates this show from Goosebumps is that Are You Afraid of the Dark is a little bit more dark in atmosphere rather than in content… I think. But there are some episodes that I remember.
5. Courage the Cowardly Dog – This was a cartoon that was horror… light, mostly for little kids but the reason why I have this on the list is because some of the subject matter for this show was extremely dark. Consider: without knowing the ending, a pig who runs a diner where they plump up their customers so that he can butcher them and make them into hamburgers. Or, a psychotic barber who has a fixation on shaving people with a large smile. This cartoon, for what the audience it was aiming for, pushed the line of dark humor as well as dark plots.

From Blogger Pictures
4. The Twilight Zone – I have always loved this TV show because the shows were horrifying but they didn’t show much of anything. What I really enjoyed about this show as that there were family lessons to be learned from the stories, so it was kind of like horror mixed with family traditions. Plus, having a spoken intro and outro to the show always pleased me; it was like Rod was presenting each story to us personally… like we knew him. The one episode that always freaked me out was ‘Eye of the Beholder’ because of the twist, and how this was a society of monsters that thought beauty was ugly. There is a lesson to be learned here and in the process it freaked me out.
3. Tales from the Crypt – Oh boy, was this a series or what? This was one of the first shows I remember watching with my grandma, but at the time I didn’t really understand what was going on, since the stories were more adult themed but I remember the imagery scared me. These shows were really gory, terrifying and humorous at sometimes… but the one thing that I will never forget is the introduction to the crypt keeper. Although, after getting a little older, this show began to frighten me so I decided to stick with Goosebumps for a while and work my way up.

From Blogger Pictures
2. The X-Files – This is perhaps my absolute favorite adult horror/sci-fi TV show out there because when I was younger and I made my gradual turn from Goosebumps, this show was the first series that I decided to try out. I cannot tell you how many episodes in this series that scared the shit out of me and how many of them left their mark in my head. It was this show that provided a gateway for me to crossover into R-rated horror films and gorier flicks. To describe the influence The X-Files had on me, I would need 10 or so pages alone… but what I will say is this: I credit this show for turning me into the demented, cryptozoologist that I am today. Thanks Chris Carter.

From Blogger Pictures
1. Goosebumps – This is it. This was the series that started it all, as well as the book series; this was the series that started me into horror! I watched these shows not with a sense of fright but rather thrilling; where I can mesmerize myself in the special effects and the creepiness of the stories. As I look back on these episodes I began to think that the some of the scene in the show were very dark and graphic (in ‘Don’t Go Into the Basement’ he slits his wrists then bleeds green goo). R.L. Stine has a great mind for younger horror fanatics and Goosebumps was no exception. I remember some of the episodes were based off of other horror movies, but because this was somewhat scary enough… I decided to stick with it, until I discovered The X-Files. But, I think I can watch this show over an over and still be entertained because it’s a flashback to my early years as a kid growing up in the 90’s.

From Blogger Pictures
Honorable mention Wishbone (The Slobbering Hound) – Though the series is more along the lines of mystery/thriller, there is one episode that freaked me out. The scenes that were in the forest where the dog was heard that the scene when everybody was looking out in the dark forest saying ‘its out there,’ terrified me. This was one of the few darker episodes of Wishbone.
So that is my list of the top 10 horror TV shows, and as you can see, I have left quit a few out but like I said in the beginning, these were based on my personal experiences with them. This is not a real list, more of a personal list than anything. I hope you enjoy.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Soundtracks - Creepshow (1982)
I am really happy because I finally got my “Creepshow” soundtrack in the mail today and I uploaded the tracks to my playlist. I am a huge fan of John Harrison, especially his work on ‘Day of the Dead.’ It is interesting because “Creepshow” is one of my favorite horror movie soundtracks, although on the track listed Until Next Time there are some points where it seemed a bit corny to have la-la-laing.
This soundtrack also had specific feel to it… not so much the main themes but rather the scores to each individual stories. The sound soundtracks sounded as though they were grindhouse/exploitation soundtracks. Funny enough, the track entitled Father’s Day was used for Eli Roth’s faux trailer “Thanksgiving.”
Like I said, the main problem that I had with this soundtrack was the la-la’s and what I mean by that is… for those who have this score… on Until Next Time around 2:24 and again around 3:20. For me, it just kind of breaks the mood but it is still a good track.
Tracklist:
1. Prologue – Welcome to Creepshow
2. Father’s Day
3. The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill
4. Something To Tide You Over
5. The Crate
6. They’re Creeping Up On You
7. Epilogue
8. Until The Next Time (End Titles)
Suites from ‘Tales from the Darkside’
9. Satanic Piano
10. Everybody Needs a Little Love
11. Sorry Right Number
12. Overture (Mansions of the Moon)
From Shoobie Doobie Moon
13. Main Title Song
14. You Make Me Feel Like A Monster
1
Saturday, June 20, 2009
My Magazines Arrived!!!!
I am so happy right now… my Ebay purchase finally came in the mail and now I own an original copy of the “Creepshow” magazine and a reprint of issue #1 of the ‘Tales from the Crypt’ magazine. Although, they are in pretty bad condition, I will have to put them in plastic or something.
But it is my “Creepshow” magazine that I am most proud about because now I can finally watch the movie and read the magazine… the only thing that I wish I had was the ads for the invisible coats, x-ray glasses and the voodoo doll.
Now that I own it, maybe I too can see The Creeper, I have so much to ask him.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Introduction
This is a brief introduction to my new blog. My first blog was on MySpace and it never caught on… after a while, because of some copywrite infringement my account was deleted along with my blog. But, it was an experimental blog and I was writing with a different alias and age. I guess that’s why it never caught on. Also, I am not in the Hollywood Hills, I wish I was, but I am located in ChiTown.
Me In A Nutshell
Like the description says, I am a closet horror fan (I guess not anymore) and I am trying to build up a collection of horror movies and collectables. Ever since I can remember I was a horror fan, starting with all those nights I watched ‘Tales From the Crypt’ with my grandma. I began reading and watching ‘Goosebumps’ until I realized it wasn’t scary anymore… so I began watching ‘The X-Files.’ It terrified me. I really got into horror when I tried watching “The Thing” (1982) and “The Blob” (1988) and I couldn’t so I settled with PG-13. Years later, I would become the horror geek that I am today.
I am also an armature student screenwriter and director. I written 2 stupid movie screenplays (Warrior Wars I and II), several short films and a film that my buddies and me are working on called “Masquerade.” I hope to eventually become a moviemaker, producer and writer but for now my concentration is editing.
I have written numerous movie reviews for IMDb, though my reviews are not professional or professionally published its still fun to write them. I have written 7 movie reviews for my high school’s weekly newspaper and that’s pretty much it. I used to write reviews for a horror forum, which will remain nameless, until I stopped because nobody was paying attention. So, I will let all you guys suffer by reading my reviews.
Other then that, I am pretty much average. I read a few magazines, notably MAD Magazine. I still watch TV here and there and I still watch reruns of my favorite shows. I am a hardcore X-Phile and a loyal ParrotHead. I love any and all 80s music, if there is a song that was in the 80s… I probably have it. I love any kind of rock music ranging from 1950 to 2008. I watching a lot of movies and I love cats. That is pretty much me in a nut shell.








