The Poor Man's Creepshow

What do you get when you combine the campy horror stories of Creepshow and the charismatic likeness of Vincent Price? Well, you get a poor man’s Creepshow knock-off known as From A Whisper To A Scream, which was alternatively called The Offspring. Essentially Price places an old bookkeeper for a town that has a dark history. A friend of his niece visits him right after she was executed to ask questions pertaining to her and Price begins to talk about the town’s dark history. It’s a horror anthology and it’s told as though we were reading history books on this town. But how is it a poor man’s Creepshow you may ask?

Well, there are two major similarities that the film bares to Creepshow but than again that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s a rip-off. You know what they say everybody steals from everybody. The first similarity is that they both employ an over-the-top, ham-handed, corny story that’s usually just fun to watch. The stories in The Offspring (this is the short title), are not scary at all. In fact, a lot of them are so tacky and so exaggerated that they come off as either boring or just plain funny. A great example of this would be the story about the kids that torture the Civil War soldiers. It’s a direct copy of Children of the Corn only far more cheesy. Even the story about the glass-eater was so rushed that the acting was poor and story was uninspired. Creepshow’s stories were hammy but they were visually appealing. The Offspring has the veteran acting talent of Clu Gulager while Creepshow has the talent of E.G. Marshall so they both have some star value to them. The main point that I am making is that The Offspring’s stories were rushed and therefore they were very unappealing but Creepshow’s stories were stylized giving us something to enjoy about.

The last similarity, and this may only pertain to Creepshow 2, but they both have a very charismatic yet imposing host. Creepshow 2 had The Creep who was just like a cheesy TV host; he made a lot of sarcastic one-liners, he spoke in a deep creepy voice, and he was fun to watch because he was so physical. If I’m not mistaken Tom Savini played The Creep. However, The Offspring has got them beat when it comes to hosts because they had veteran horror movie icon Vincent Price play the bookkeeper for the town. His screen presents in magnetic in the sense that you can’t take your eyes off of him. Seeing him sit in his library, holding up a glass of wine, dressed in a robe and speaking in such a clear but pronounced voice made this a treat for any horror fan. It’s shame that he wasn’t in Creepshow as well.

I’m not merely saying that every anthology horror movie is a rip-off of Creepshow but I found that The Offsping really kept a lot of the aspects that made Creepshow what it was. Sure there was other movies like Body Bags or Tales From The Dark Side but The Offspring was way before this. It’s not a completely bad movie but it only made me want to watch Creepshow despite the presence of Price. But for a campy 80s horror tale… it’s worth a look.

Creepshow 2: My Thoughts on The Raft

Now first of all, this is not really a review but rather a few thoughts that I have on The Raft. I might do a Creepshow 2 review later on down the road. First off, when I was younger I thought this was the best segment by far and I would always be freaked out by the way the tar thing ate people. Hell, we had a campground that had a raft like that out in the lake and I was frightened to go out there because I thought that think would kill me. It kind of rode the coattails of Jaws in making me a little scared of the water. Now, when I see it, it reminds me of those emotions that I felt and like most people who have seen Creepshow 2 this is my favorite segment in the whole movie (second being Old Chief Wooden Head and third being The Hitchhiker).

The story starts off with the kids in the car, smoking weed and laughing about the adventures yet to come. It’s totally 80s and you can really tell by the hair, the clothing and the music blasting on the radio. And once the group finally gets to the raft and one of the guys notices it eating a duck and swimming towards them, that’s where the bad acting and dialogue come in. Oh boy, this is 80s cheese at its best. Of course, with a film like this and given the year it was made in, most people can forgive it for it’s bad acting because the film is a little campy at times.

Now, when we finally do see this tar thing eat people, I was freaked out… when I was younger. You see the tar cover the girl in all its sloppy, slimy glory and you can see it melt the skin off of her body. It was so graphic and yet there was little bloodshed. Back then; I just imagine the burning sensation. As I look at it now and I notice how the monster eats people (by shooting it’s tendrils up the persons leg or arm and grabbing them into it’s soupy body) it reminds me so much of the ’88 version of The Blob. This was pre ’88 Blob too so it was pretty cool to see it. That’s another thing I want to bring up; when you see the tendrils pierce through the people’s leg I could feel my muscles tightening.

Of course the ending is the big slap in the balls when the monster does get the survivor man and we notice the sign that says no swimming. I face-palmed myself when I was younger. I screamed, “C’mon on!! All you had to do was look a little to your side!” My overall impression of the movie, now, is it’s still watchable and for kids it can be pretty scary ‘cause this is the most intense segment in the whole film. I forgot who said this but they also wanted to see it happen for The Crate from the original Creepshow, but they wanted to see a prequel or a feature-length movie of The Raft. I would love to see that too, provided that they don’t use CGI.

The Ballad of Old Chief Woodenhead

This is just a little exposé that I wanted to do on ‘Old Chief Wooden Head’ from Creepshow 2. This is not a review.

When it comes to anthology movies one of the most widely accepted and most well known is Creepshow and Creepshow 2. But I want to take the time to talk about Creepshow 2, specifically the story known as ‘Old Chief Wooden Head.’ When I first saw this as a kid I thought that The Chief would be the bad guy but that’s not the case, he is the good guy and honesty, this is one of the best revenge stories in a horror movie that I have seen.

The story itself is very compelling and it sets up the perfect tone of a revenge flick. The owners are good-hearted people who refuse to close down because they are dedicated to their customers and want to strive forward. The old Indian man is also a nice person who we think is bad but isn’t. The three vigilantes are unlikable and truly cold-blooded.

From Blogger Pictures

What makes the story so good is how the film makes you feel for the shop owners and how it shows you that they keep the Chief in good condition and how both of them have respect for one another. The Chief loves these people and he cares for them, and the owners tend to him. When the shop owners get murdered by the son of the old Indian man, you feel sorry for them and you root for the Chief to dispose of them in the most fowl and ugly of ways. It makes you feel happy and glad and it provides closure to the story.

The Chief is truly a very underrated hero of the horror genre and I think he deserves recognition. 

From Blogger Pictures

Old Chief Woodenhead

Kicking ass since 1987