Why The Fly Frightened Me

So a few days ago I revisited an old childhood classic: 1958’s The Fly. To me, this film will always be on my top black and white horror movies of all time because of the fond memories that I had with it. Of course Creature from the Black Lagoon, Them, The Tingler and Night of the Living Dead will always have their place but The Fly was the one that embedded itself into my memory. I remember watching this movie on TCM back in 1997 (this was before I saw The Thing ’82 and The Blob ’88) with my grandma. It was late at night and I sat in the bedroom easy chair as my grandma was sitting up and my grandpa was lying in bed. I remember it clear as crystal.

The first thing that terrified me was a sound effect and when it comes to older films, sound is very crucial to the story. Sound is usually what scarred people back then rather than the music or the action, which is why I stand by my claim that raw horror is always the best kind of horror. Well, in the scene where Andre test his teleportation device by feeding the family cat through it, the sound the cat makes when it’s molecules aren’t properly put back together is horrifying. The cat is in a sort of limbo state and its meows are very low and it echoes through the basement. That sound haunted my dreams for a long time because I hate when cats meow like that and considering this was the same year that my cat was sick, it reminded me of how much pain and discomfort he was in.

Perhaps the scariest part of this movie for me was the grand revealing of the fly mutation. You see, back then I always had a fascination with bugs and every time I looked at entomology books I would always get chills from the way fly and cicada heads looked like. The small head and overly large eyes seemed alien to me and gave an unearthly look to them, which is why when I saw the head of fly on a human’s body… it was just frightening. I guess it retrospect, seeing the fly head dehumanized the doctor and it made him look like he was an alien, a monster hidden from the world. Even seeing the claw that he kid in his pocket didn’t ease my imagination because back then I would always try to picture how much of his body was turned into a fly.

As a kid, I wanted to see the mutation right when it happened but Neumann does a clever job of keeping the audience in suspense and I can tell you, I could not bare the suspense. I sat there glued to the screen waiting for the veil to come off and every time Andre lifted up the veil to drink the soup I would cover my eyes hoping that he didn’t lift it all the way up. Talk about keeping you on the edge of your seat.

The Fly will always be a classic for me and I even loved the remake to no end but the original will always have its place in my heart. It’s one of the first black and white movies that I saw as a kid and it set in motion my, then, daily horror movie nights. It’s because of The Fly and The Tingler that I only watch black and white horror movies at night because for some reason they are just better at night, perhaps it has something to do with the black and white. I only wish that I could go back in time and relive those memories… they were some of the best nights of my life.

Poster Postcards: The Thing

I’ve seen so many blogs do something like this so I figure that I would to. As many of you know The Thing is my absolute favorite horror movie of all time and it wasn’t until recently when I decided to look up posters for the movie. Well, below are some of the ones that I came across and my interpretation of a few of them.

So I present to you the first Poster Postcards from The Paradise of Horror:

This is the poster most of us know. It’s the theatrical poster that’s used on the Special Edition version of The Thing. This poster always used to hypnotize me because I would stare it wondering what was underneath that hood? What kind of thing could take the form of a human being? Even in the library I would walk past the VHS of this and I would stare at that imposing cover art. Who would have known that it would be my favorite horror movie of all time?


I really like this poster a lot. It really monsterizes The Thing as some kind of epic, unstoppable force that comes from below. The terrain is barren, white and bleak and it just looks more frightening.




Right now, and this just came up, this is my favorite poster for this movie. The bottom of the poster depicts the outpost in flames, showing a grim and grisly future that awaits those who are inside. It truly is like looking into the future. Atop the burning outpost is a grotesque figure of twisted, bloody skin that represents the faceless thing. What I really like about this poster that the first one doesn’t have is the isolation; this poster replicates that isolationism that’s in the movie.


And then there is this one….

Introducing... Child's Play!

As you can tell by the title of this post this is going to be about the introductions to the Child’s Play movies. Of course I mean the two sequels and the original or the shitty ones after Child’s Play 3. Yes, as trivial as the introductions may seem… to me they are some of the most memorable intros to a horror movie (or any movie) that I have seen. I know there are a few people that I have spoken to that understand where I am coming from and why I think so. I am going to try to do my best to explain my reasoning.

Child’s Play 2

The beginning shots of the movie show extreme close-ups of workers scraping off all the burnt wax off the Good Guy (Chucky) doll. They polish up his metal framework and clean the burn wax out of his mouth, then they proceed to put a fresh rubber cover over his metal skull. They spray paint the brown eyebrows and freckles on his face and then they assemble his body parts and put clothes on him. They put batteries into his back and they prop him and Chucky is reborn.

I guess the reason why I enjoy this opening so much is because of how precise and careful the shots and the actions are, especially before the actual doll assembly. You are watching the birth of a killer take place but at the same time it’s still a little happy and somewhat clowny. When it comes to the assembly of the doll parts, I loved the camera angles because they were either canted or they showed the object in perspective, giving the picture a stylized comic-book feel to it.

Child’s Play 3

I will probably remember this one the most out of all the Child’s Play movies because of what it was. It starts off with people coming into the old Good Guy doll factory and cleaning up the place. They use a claw to pick up the melted body of Chucky so that they could throw him out, but as they hoist the melted remains some blood drips into a vat of boiling wax. What happens after is a montage of some really grisly, raw and bloody shots of the max molding and melting back into the doll as the blood spins around it.

It was the photography and the effects that won me over with this opening. The photography is beautifully lit and darkened, giving the picture that grisly macabre feel to the film. We are watching the second re-birth of a killer who is at his wits end and it’s gory, sick and grotesque. Shots of spinning wax and melting blood give the montage this chilling atmosphere. The effects were actually pretty good and some shots (the spinning wax, the ribbons of blood) I wonder how they did it. I loved that they used high-speed film and reversed it for the end shot where Chucky’s head is being remade.

A friend of mine, Jeff Olsen, best described why opening credit scenes can be good for a movie: “[it] gives you a chance to get a drink, get comfy, then enjoy the flick.” I could not agree with him more on this. It sets the mood and the tone of the film and these credits do exactly that. Honestly, they are probably one of my favorite parts in the whole film and it’s something that I always look forward to when the movie starts.

The Hidden Mummy

This is going to be a relatively small post but I think that it’s necessary as a sort of precursor to a post that I want to do later on. At first, this post was going to be dedicated to showing the romanticism within the original Mummy film; however, I found something that struck me as brilliant in the film. You see, The Mummy really takes the term “the less you see, the better” and uses it to it’s advantage and of course that happens in most of the older black and white films but I think this one does it a lot better.

When we first see Mummy he is motionless, wrapped in bandages and cloth and he has the grotesque look of an aging and gooey mummy. Of course, seeing this image back then was disgusting to look at and I am sure for people back then it was also pretty scary to see. The next we see the Mummy his eyes open slightly and the camera pans down his body to see that his hands start to move around and this right here is an indication that the Mummy is alive and to audiences it was a pretty big ‘holy shit’ moment since they didn’t expect to see him do that.

The picture shows more of the scene than the movie.

Now here is probably one of the best parts of the whole movie comes into play, the Mummy awakes and it cuts to Frank who is looking through some scrolls. The camera pans down to a scroll that was left open and you see bandaged hand extend into the picture and touch the scroll. Frank then looks up at the unknown figure and begins to laugh in hysterics as the menacing shadow leans over him. The shadows leaves and the camera pans over to the ground and we see bandage wrappings on the floor leaving as the figure walks out the door but we never once see his legs, we only see bandages drag on the floor as Frank is heard in the background hysterical.

Why is this scene so frightening and out of all the other scenes in the movie? Put yourself in the mindset of people in the 30s, after seeing the grotesque mummy you are already grossed out by it, now imagine if the thing started to walk… but you never see it work. Your mind is going wild trying to picture a mummy walking and moaning. You never see the thing and because of that, you mind can makeup whatever it wants to fill in that gap in the picture and that is the most horrifying thing that the director could have done.

Paradise Profiles: Lost Highway

A while ago I did a post on some of the best-designed horror blogs out there and one of them was The Lost Highway. I have been a fan of Lost Highway for about a year now and I had the pleasure to talk to Steve (the owner) via Twitter. Well, about a few weeks ago I asked him if he would like to answer a few questions from me so that I can file him under my Paradise Profiles. Well, next to the Amanda Norman interview I think I came up with a really good questionnaire for Steve and he came back with exactly what I wanted him to say. Hell, the answers he gave me are very quotable and I might have to use them later on in some of my posts.

So, with that said I give you my interview with the Lost Highway (I bet some of you didn’t know that highways can talk):

Why are you attracted to horror movies?
With so many horrifying things in the real world I consider it a sort of escape from the day the day. I personally don't like the torture porn type of stuff or horror that's just so vile that it makes you want to take a shower after watching it. I typically like the fun horror film that doesn't take itself too seriously but can still give me a few good scares. If I thought a guy in a hockey mask was going to actually try to kill me on a camping trip then I probably wouldn't be watching these types of films to begin with and fortunately I'm not prone to skinny dipping or having premarital sex just ask my wife. These are a world of fantasy pure and simple just like science fiction novels and government intelligence.

Considering Halloween 3 was the first horror movie you saw, what is your opinion on it now as you are older?
I remember seeing the film at a friend’s sleepover party when I was 9 years old and watched most of it from the protective cover of my sleeping bag. It scared me enough that I refused to wear a halloween mask that year for fear snakes would come out of the eyeholes. I can't really say it's very scary to me anymore but neither are dark basements, thunderstorms and clowns… ok maybe still clowns but I do consider Halloween 3 a good campy b-movie and I gotta give them credit for trying something different. I guess it was the new Coke of the Halloween series and yes I still check the back of masks for that Shamrock logo just in case.

Why are you drawn to b-movies out of all the horror sub-genres?
b-movies to me really encompass a pretty broad set of genres with traditional horror, sci-fi, campy bad movies, exploitation, and grindhouse falling into the mix. But I think most b-movies don't take themselves too seriously most of the time and it's a type of movie you can have fun with or make fun of with a group of buddies. There's also some sort of pure raw creativity in a lot of these films. They didn't have the budgets or the big studio backings so you'll see a lot of creative ways they handled things. In a lot of ways it was true independent gorilla film making which can often create the best results.

Would you say there is a certain kind of vintage aspect in watching obscure 70s and 80s horror movies? In other words, do those kinds of movies bring you back to your childhood days?
Absolutely. I saw a most of these types of films in my childhood and it takes me back to a time when life wasn't so stressful, not so many responsibilities. Things were simpler and slower back then. *leans back in my rocking chair* "well I remember walking to school uphill both ways and writing on a shovel and we ate dirt and by golly we liked it that way."

How did Mystery Science Theater 3000 mold you into who you are now?
I started watching MST3K since season 1 back when Comedy Central was called the Comedy Channel… you know when cable was actually good? So not only did it expose me to a lot of vintage b-movies but greatly influenced my strange sense of humor. Though I still don't get 90% of the actor references they make though but that's what Google’s for.

What got you started in graphic design?
I started out as an illustrator when I was younger so there was lots of drawing of fast cars, monsters, and boobies… oh the boobies. I was actually going to go to college for biomedical illustration but I got squeamish with the idea of going to see the corpses in the medical lab for extra credit. So yeah failed that class. Funny how I can watch a guy get his head eaten by a zombie but if I see real drop of blood then I pass out like a little girl. Fortunately this whole Internet thing came along so I went with web design and it's been keeping my family fed ever since. I still do illustration work with my b-movie posters and t-shirt designs which has been a lot of fun.

Out of all your website design and logo work, what has to be your best design?
Hmmm‚ that's a tough call. I've never been a big fan of my own design work. I usually look at it a month or so later and I'll be like "what poor blind monkey designed this?" However I think my Halloween poster is probably my best illustration work thus far. Ironically my first b-movie poster I did but I think I just haven't gotten back to that same level yet. I guess I had no expectations when I drew that which gives you a sort of creative freedom when you don't place expectations on what it should looks like. But I love b-movies and drawing so it's the perfect value combo meal.

What made you want to start a blog?
It was mostly to just see if I could write… well anything. Designers make horrible editors we can barely spell or use basic tools. Thankfully we got that whole opposable thumb thing going on for us. It's been a very unique and rewarding creative experience for me to write about my b-movie passion. It's almost like drawing. You have to build your review up just like you build a drawing… oh and there's lots of erasing.

What was the inspiration behind a 'Lost highway' theme?
I never actually heard of the movie with the same title when I had started putting the site together. Call me a Lynch virgin at the time. This was back in the day when the site was more a glorified links page attached to my portfolio website. I just wanted something that would be off the main road of the "information super highway!" yeah I know it was 90's give me a break. Strangely I finally saw the movie a while back for the first time and afterwards was like "oh yeah this movie is soooo lost highway" just add a touch of grindhouse you got what we're all about.

How did you meet Drive-In Dan?
Dan actually hired me to design him a horror logo a few years back. You can still see it in my portfolio its called Goreopolis. We got chatting about what I wanted to do with Lost Highway and turns out he's just as crazy as I am. More importantly he has a passion for b-movies and wants to make Lost Highway awesome-tastic. We get into these fun conversations about movies because our tastes aren't identical in films. Our conversation about the movie Grindhouse will be passed on to generations. Dan is also a great guy and his Rosen's drive-in is really doing well down in North Carolina. I get down there for a double-decker chilidog from the snack shop when I can and help him run ticket sales.

Out of all the b-movies that you've seen, what is you favorite and what is your least favorite?
Favorite movie of all time would easily be "The Warriors." hands down the greatest film ever made. It's one of the few films I can watch over and over again and thoroughly enjoy. I think it just exemplifies what is great in a b-movie; the campiness attitude of 70's films, the great dialog, the grittiness. My 3-year-old daughter even says "Warrior's come out and play." gosh that makes a daddy proud.

Least favorite? Well there are so many b-movies that scrap the bottom of the barrel. Manos: The Hands of Fate is tremendously painful without some good MST3K riffing. I think I'd have to go with Bloodshack though as my pick. It was directed by the same guy that made the Incredibly Strange Creature That Stopped Living and Became A Mixed Up Zombie; The only movie whose title is actually more interesting than the film. I can't give you specifics of the plot of Bloodshack because I don't think there really was one. There's a guy, and a shack, a rodeo, and some stained wallpaper, that's about it. I think the movie really hates humanity.

By any chance, did MST3K influence your comical commentary on snapshots of certain b-movies?
Yes definitely. MST3K is the greatest TV show ever made or will ever be made. Yes even better than "Charles in Charge" or "Manimal." I use to do these comedy sketched on video cassettes in Jr. High where we'd record shows off the TV and add our own commentary track over the audio. It was pre MST3k days so I'm just waiting for my royalties check from Best Brains. I still watch an episode about every night before bed. It's like a comfort food but less fattening.

What was the most rewarding thing that came out of blogging?
Talking to other people who have a similar passion for this b-movie stuff like me: entertaining the unwashed masses, oh and the money… so much money. I just roll around in it at night. Roll, roll, roll.

If Kevin Murphy and Michael Nelson were to read this interview, what would you want to say to them?
"How do you eat and breathe and other science facts?"

How do you relax? Or, what do you do in your spare time?
Between a full time job, 3 kids, and freelance design business my spare time is pretty much what I devote to Lost Highway and b-movie watching. I try to watch at least a couple b-movies a week so at least if one is so horrible I can't bare to speak of it again the other movie will be the film I review by default. It's like Olympic training so I got to pace myself. It’s usually late at night but I find that's the best creative time without a tiny person using me as a jungle gym. I don't watch television now so I get a heck of a lot more done with the little spare time I do have. My wife and I are also big Roller Derby fans so we try to get down to the Detroit Derby Girl bouts as much as we can. My wife is joining a local derby league so she's pretty hardcore. I'm more like Richie Cunnigham from Happy Days so she could kick my ass at any moment.

To visit the Lost Highway, click here
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Night of the Living... Spiders

For the first time in my life I saw Kingdom of the Spiders and I did so because a lot of people recommended the movie to me so I finally caved in. On the surface, and to most people, the movie is a classic example of a cheesy movie with really hammy acting. However for people like me, who are afraid of spiders, this movie was actually quite frightening and uneasy. Yeah, like Arachnophobia this movie really got to me and I think I pinpointed why, out of all the spider movies that I have seen, this movie is scarier from the rest. I think the same thing goes for Arachnophobia but that movie had humor to lighten up the mood, this movie did not.

As I watched this movie I noticed that like Arachnophobia the spiders in this movie are your generic tarantula, they are not mutated or genetically enhanced and they are not oversized so it makes it feel more real. By making the spiders’ generic, it makes the audience think that this could happen because the science and the logic is there. There are several types of spiders that hunt in colonies and when food is deprived, they go apeshit. However, it does seem a little far-fetched that they would wrap the entire town in spider webs. I guess it’s the idea that it could happen, getting covered in spiders and eventually getting killed by them, is what scares me.

The other thing that I noticed is that the film is a lot more morbid than most killer spider movies. The movies that have giant killer spiders are gorier and more violent and it’s a given that they are going to have giant webs to go with their giant bodies. In this film, the small spiders somehow found a way to wrap their entire web around other people. There is a montage where we see several townsfolk cocooned in spider webs with spiders crawling all over their bodies. It’s actually pretty frightening and a little more morbid than most. There is hardly in gore in this movie except for one scene when one of the police men gets into a car crash and he falls out dead and bloodied up… and then the spiders crawl all over him.

You’ll also notice that they kill people in the most random and seemingly safest places. Take for example: there is a scene when an airplane pilot is flying his plane in the sky and then out of the clear blue, spiders engulf his body and kill them. Because of that scene, it makes it seem like there is no escaping the spiders. They are everywhere. See, the spiders in this movie have the persona and the walking dead and that brings me to my main point about Kingdom of Spiders.

Yes, this movie bears a lot of resemblance to Romero’s Night of the Living Dead. Think about it, the spiders kill in groups and they surround their victims as they bite them and probably eat them… just like zombies. A small group of people barricade themselves in a restaurant as the spiders attack the town just like in Night of the Living Dead when the group in the house fends off the zombies. I read somewhere that somebody compared Kingdom of the Spiders to The Birds and although that might be true, I really think it owes a little more Night of the Living Dead than anything else. Both movies have slow and harmless-looking creatures attack people.

In my opinion, this may be a cheesy film but because of my fear of spiders it was more than just a cheesy film… it was a pretty frightening film. I had the same reaction to Arachnophobia because even with the humor aside, it’s still unnerving to see the spiders coat the entire house. Hell, both Kingdom of Spiders and Arachnophobia have custom songs to them so you can say that Arachnophobia owes a lot to Kingdom of Spiders. Everybody borrows from everybody.

Chucky vs. Pinocchio

A few nights ago, I took a trip down memory lane and re-watched Pinocchio’s Revenge. I had seen this movie back in the late 90s when I used to rent a lot of my movies from Hollywood Video. Then, I wasn’t too afraid of this movie and I thought it was entertaining but I after seeing it again after all those years I found myself enjoying it for it’s cheese value. It’s not a good movie but it’s entertaining. What I did notice was how much it borrows from the Child’s Play movies. Although this post may come off as saying that Pinocchio’s Revenge is subpar as compared to Child’s Play, I want to state that my comparing and contrasting is due to my realization that Pinocchio’s Revenge is a second rate Child’s Play.

Chucky:
First off, I know his real name is Charles Lee Ray. Now, here is why I think the doll worked for Child’s Play but why it failed to deliver for Pinocchio’s Revenge. The main reason why Chucky is so creepy is because he was based off of the scary looking My Buddy dolls and in the film they are called Good Guy dolls. The other reason why Child’s Play delivers the scares is because of the brutality of Chucky and that he is way more lethal. You never actually see Chucky kill people but you see POV shots of him running around and you see his hands holding the knife, but it’s almost as though it’s keeping you in anticipation before you actually see him kill.

Pinocchio:
I guess for me, when it came to Pinocchio, seeing that doll going around killing people wasn’t really scary because it’s hard to convince me that the doll was scary. It looked more childish than funny and even after you see the doll animated it wasn’t really scary, it just looked cheesy. Pinocchio wasn’t really brutal at all, in fact he killed two people and only one was with a fire poker. The whole thing just didn’t seem as violent as Chucky can get. Pinocchio’s Revenge also is lacking in the suspense that Child’s Play has, you see Pinocchio running around and it doesn’t really offer the audience anticipation so when you finally see Pinocchio… it’s like we already saw him. It’s anticlimactic.

I think that Pinocchio’s Revenge is an entertaining movie but unfortunately it comes off as a poor man’s Child’s Play and I think that is it’s main problem. Although just because it is a second rate Chucky movie doesn’t mean that it should be watched for cheese value. In my opinion, it was hard not to compare this to the Chucky films because I saw a lot of similarities. What baffles me is: what exactly did Pinocchio get revenge on?

Extreme High Tension

I was talking with Paul Metcalf who runs The Pissed off Geek about High Tension the other night and we were discussing the brutality of the film, and that was my third or fourth viewing of the movie. This was something that I noticed the first time that I saw it, the brutality and the gore that I saw was so intense that captivated me and took me away from the plot a little… but I still loved the movie. I enjoyed the twist and on this viewing I saw some of the plot holes but I want to discuss the brutality a little bit.

For me, I guess the one scene that I found as a shocker was the ending when the ‘killer’ takes a buzz saw and jumps on a car and shreds apart the window as ‘he’ makes his way towards the driver. Its ridiculously gory and blood is spraying everywhere, the screaming won’t stop, the noise is ear piercing and I never expected it to get this gory. When you see the character of Alex getting sprayed with another man’s blood as is unable to get out of the car, you have to feel sorry for this poor girl. She has been through so much and this is the icing on the brutal birthday cake. Hell, I think this scene actually became one of the more famous kill scenes in horror history.

What does this prove exactly? Well, first off, it’s proof that Alexandre Aja is one sick twisted son of a bitch who knows how to keep you captivated in a story. However, it also proves that the Unites States are not the only ones that know the ropes of a good splatter flick, that the French are making a name for themselves in the horror industry with extremely intense and gory movies. Even with the decapitation scene in the beginning, the murders only heighten and when Marie wraps the barb wire around the wooden pole and beats the killer in the face with it, I knew right away that there was going to be a bloody finish… and boy was I right.

Look What I go in the Mail...

Looky what I got. Steve from Lost Highway sent it over to me and I have to thank him so much for it. I have been a huge fan of Steve’s work and this poster looks really good with all my other posters. If you haven’t ordered one, I suggest that you do so… unfortunately, I don’t have is Return of the Living Dead poster.

With that said, thank you very much Steve.

Review - The Furfangs (2010)

Speaking of Critters, I was contacted today by somebody who wanted me to review a film called The Furfangs. Naturally, I was interested so I looked at the website that they gave me and I looked at the poster and all I could think was, “Wow, how funny is it that I just got done watching Critters and a few hours later I had to review what looked like a movie inspired by Critters.” Well, that’s exactly what The Furfangs is, a movie that pays a lot of respect to Critters. It tells the story of a man, who is alone in his house getting ready to propose to his wife, but then a small spaceship crashes into his house and little balls of fur drop out. Well the fury little balls are the Furfangs, maniacal monsters that steal the man’s ring.

I enjoyed this movie a little sci-fi short. The Furfangs are somewhat lovable as the villain because they are balls of fur and not to mention they practice good horror hygiene. Here is a movie that has a lot of heart and doesn’t take itself too seriously, and I love it. It’s a no-budget film and for that, it should deserve a watch.

Check it out below:



Official website.

Critters: The Antihero

Today’s post is going to be a little short because it’s something that I want to address about the Crites. Yes, those of you who saw the post I made on Twitter last night know that I watched Critters again. Thanks to that movie I have the ‘Critter Skitter’ stuck in my head but I also realized something about the Crites in this movie. I stated it before on Twitter but this time I want to elaborate on what I meant.

See, the Crites are very interesting ‘characters’ because they have personality, they are smart and they lovable to a point. Unlike most alien invader movies, the aliens are always reptilian looking or weird looking but the Crites are so simple and so ‘down to earth’ that they look like little balls of fuzz with teeth. You love them but you hate them because they are vicious little monsters. I guess what I am getting at here is that the Crites are an antihero, more or less. In some way, you want them to win and you want them to succeed but you also want the real heroes of the story to win as well. It’s a bittersweet relationship and its one of the main reasons why I love Critters. What makes their personality even more identifiable is that they swear and they beat each other up, something that you rarely see in any alien invader movie.

I compared them to the aliens in Mars Attacks because the aliens in that film are also antiheroes to a point because they are wacky, bumbling and you become attacked to them. You want to see them blow shit up and scream ‘ACK! ACK! ACK!’ The same thing can be said about the Crites. Out of all the aliens that I have seen, they have to be the best when it comes to their personality and their appearance.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Today marks St. Patrick’s day, a day in which we shall be observing and celebrating the Irish heritage, however a lot of us shall be using this time to drink excessive amounts of liquor and beer and pass out on the couch. Well, this post is to all you sober horror fans… a few ramblings that came to mind as I look on this day of green. Perhaps I can offer you guys a series that I am sure everybody knows about and I am sure that you guys probably already watch it but what the hell, I’ll say it anyway.

The Leprechaun series. Yes, Leprechaun, this was a fun series to watch. If you were a fan of Paradise of Horror in it’s infant stage then you’ll notice that I did a post about why the rhyming scared me in this movie (click here). Well, this if you haven’t already seen this series I strongly recommend going out and trying to find it. Warwick Davis really did a fantastic job creating his own little character. It’s just fun to see him running around shining shoes, killing people with pogo sticks and biting ears off just so that he can get his gold.

After the second one they completely fell apart from there, it turned into a comedy rather than an actual horror movie… sort of like the way Child’s Play went. Even still, the series is one of the few horror franchises that I can watch. Although, after space I believe Leprechaun went to ‘da hood’ and that’s where I stopped caring. The rest was all good cheesy fun.

For those of you who will be drinking this evening I recommend watching this movie drunk, which I am sure will make a lot of you laugh. Anybody who is a hardcore drinker should do a drinking game to the Leprechaun series: a shot every time Leprechaun says, “I want me gold coin!!” By the beginning of the third movie, you won’t remember the last two.

However, with all jokes and drinking games aside, this is a real serious holiday that should be observed. It is the honoring of St. Patrick one of the commonly known saints from Ireland. During this holiday people would normally wear three-leaved Shamrocks to represent the Holy Trinity. Since the 1600s (or in some cases before then) it has been a tradition for the Irish culture. With that said:

I wish all of you a safe holiday and
HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY

Top 5 Guilty Pleasure Horror Movies

This post is actually influenced by a conversation that Deadly Movies and I had a few nights ago about The Langoliers. There are a lot of people that really hate this movie and although I do admit that the film does have some shitty CGI and some questionable acting… it’s not that bad of a movie. Sure, some things don’t make sense and like always the writer knows everything but I consider that movie a guilty pleasure of mine. This is what today’s post will be about… guilty pleasures.

Now, keep in mind that there are a lot of movies that would be classified as ‘guilty pleasures’ however, most of them I do not feel guilty telling people that I enjoy them. Case in point: C.H.U.D., I am proud to say that I am a fan of that movie. With these movies, I don’t normally tell horror fans or movies buffs that I enjoy them because they are questionable.

5. Sleepwalkers – Oh the fond memories of watching this film when I was younger, of course back then I didn’t notice the painfully bad acting, shitty effects and weak plot but in some way… I still enjoy this movie. I mean, who does not like watching a group of renegade cats attack a mother and son or better yet, who does not like to watch a son have weird cat-like sex with his mom? It has ‘sick beyond all belief but I love it’ stamped all over it.

4. The Langoliers – As I stated before, even though the acting can be hammy, and the CGI is atrocious, and the plot can be worked on, and the time it takes them to understand everything is implausible, I still enjoyed this movie. It does have its moments and it does a great job with anticipating the arrival of the Langoliers. If you can get past all the problems with it, it’s actually a pretty decent movie. Also, you have to understand that it is a made-for-TV movie.

3. Skeeter – I hate mosquitoes and if the dialogue and acting is awful, this movie still freaks me out. I am not saying that I jump up in my seat and scream but I do get that tingling feeling down my back because giant mosquitoes make me uncomfortable. Hell, Jumanji did the same thing for me. Granted, the acting and dialogue isn’t the only thing wrong with this movie… the bug-vision effects are terrible, the gore is minimal and there are a lot of continuity errors but I can guarantee that if you hate insects you’ll hate this movie.

2. Shadow Builder – When I first saw this I had no idea Michael Rooker was in it and now that I know… it skyrocket to number 2 on my list. But that’s not the only reason why, this film has some pretty terrifying scenes in it and I think it’s one of the best small town horror movies on a budget. Also, an old man kills his wife with an axe then gets a telephone poll thrown on him… what more can you ask? It comes with really bad acting and some really bad CGI and even worse dialogue but the rest is pretty good. Not the best, mind you. It will always be embedded in my head when Satan tells a priest that, “God is a butcher boy.” That made me smile.

1. Ghost Ship – I liked this movie. Aside from maybe some really bad acting and a somewhat cliché storyline, I don’t know why people do not like this film. Maybe I am not seeing something and if I am not, please enlighten me. Though it didn’t really scare me in the theater or even now, it’s fairly entertaining and I find the beginning as well as some of the flashback sequences pretty thrilling. Granted, I have seen better ‘ghost ship’ movies but this one sticks out for some reason. There are some bad movies out there that are entertaining and enjoyable to watch, but they are still bad. Ghost Ship is a perfect example of this.

Honorable Mention: Virus

So there is my list. They are not your typical guilty pleasure horror flicks but they still, to me, are very entertaining movies. However, if I had a top 10 list you’d see way more guilty pleasures like Graduation Day or Street Trash on there.

R.I.P. Peter Graves

Yes, another great man has passed away who has dedicated his life to cinema and TV and that is Peter Graves. According to the Lost Angeles Times, Peter Graves (83) died in his house in Pacific Palisades of natural causes. It’s a shame that such a great man has now departed this world, but at least he died of natural cause rather than from cancer or from a disease. He left a legacy and his life will always be remembered for what he accomplished.

Many movie fans will remember him from playing the strange airplane pilot in the movie Airplane! and from what the L.A. times said he, “initially turned down the role for "Airplane!" because he thought it was in poor taste--until actors Robert Stack, Lloyd Bridges and Leslie Nielsen signed on to the cast. "They say you are supposed to stretch as an actor, so let's go stretch it," he told The Times' Susan King.” Who would have thought that the role would have been so memorable? TV fans will remember him from his portrayal as James Phelps on “Mission: Impossible.” He has been in several films that have been featured on ‘Mystery Science Theater 3000’ and he even has his own place on the pavement outside of Disney’s Hollywood Studios.

Of course, I understand that I am missing a lot of other work that he has done but these are just some of the highlights of his life and some of his more memorable moments. Again, it’s a shame that we lost such a great actor but he will never be unappreciated. Rest in peace, Mr. Graves. You will be deeply missed.

Source: Los Angeles Times

Sympathy for the C.H.U.D.'s

I love C.H.U.D. not just because it’s one of those rare 80s gems that are so cheesy it’s fun but because of one thing, the CHUDs. Yes, they are hideous mutated monsters that live down in the sewers of New York and attack people for food. However, after watching this movie and hearing what CHUD really stands for (Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers). I am going to state something that many people might not agree with but these CHUDs are actually not the real bad guys in this movie and in fact, I would go further to say that the CHUDs are actually the victims in this film. Perhaps I might be stating the obvious but who knows.

For the first half of the movie the CHUDs are portrayed as monsters that only come to the surface to attack and kill civilians for food. I do agree that this is a very monstrous act but if the CHUDs were really mutated people, then the mutations would render the person back to his primitive self where they would do anything to stay alive. They are hideous (but curiously adorable) and they are highly radioactive. With these things all thrown together you would think that the CHUDs are the real monsters but after the first half of the movie we find out otherwise.

Early on in the movie we learn that there are large colonies of people living under New York and these people are homeless people. We are also told that the CHUDs are really mutated homeless people who have been exposed to radioactive waste because a company was too careless to dispose of the waste properly. Right there should be all the proof you need that the CHUDs are nothing more than poor people who have been wrongfully poisoned. Hell, if you look at the tagline of C.H.U.D. it states, “They’re not staying down there anymore.” This shows that there might be some kind of revolt against those who live on the surface.

The real villain in this movie is man, humans or more importantly the company that dumped all the toxic waste into the sewer. The CHUDs are just the poor people that happened to get in the way of things when it happened and they were hideously mutated. If you saw my post about the soundtrack of the movie you’ll notice that the theme song is very low key and depressing, almost as though it’s in mourn… mourning for the CHUDs (click here to read it).

I would argue that the CHUDs are a metaphor for the homeless and how ‘normal people’ perceive them as. I for one can vouch for this, normally when I see a homeless man begging for change I walk by them without even looking at them because to me they are filthy and they choose to stay on the streets. I have seen many homeless people get jobs and I know plenty of places in Chicago that help homeless people find employment. However, the CHUDs are our vision of a homeless person; ugly, disgusting, hideous and dangerous. They stand for the uprising of the indigent and homeless.

Hopefully, this post might make you look at the movie a tad differently and see what its hidden meanings are. Also, I always thought the CHUDs were not the main villains and I stand by that remake. To me, the CHUDs are just the poor people who were at the wrong place at the wrong time, which is why I think that they are more or less an anti-hero rather than a villain.

Horror Movie Tributes on YouTube

I love YouTube because you can find some really awesome fan videos on there, a lot of people make splice up trailers, tribute videos and homemade music videos. I already did a post showcasing all the videos that take a horror movie and turn it into a family movie and vise versa. (Click here to view it) This time around I want to showcase some awesome horror movie tributes that I came across. See, I recently logged into my YouTube account and noticed that I had so many videos that I don’t remember favoriting. Well, I went through a couple of them and some recommended to me and found the best.

Now, I know there are a lot of them that I am probably forgetting and most of the good ones I purposely left out because I’m picky when it comes to horror tributes videos. I do not think that The Terminator is horror, War of the Worlds is not a horror and neither is Ghostbusters. To me, in order to make a good horror movie tribute you have to incorporate real horror movies into them. I know, I know, I am very picky but I did manage to find some really good tributes that I think you should check out.

This was one of the best tributes set to 'Thriller' I've seen.

Vote Paradise of Horror for Mr. Horror Blogosphere!

Hey folks, this is just a quick post reminding all my readers that I am nominated for the Mr. Horror Blogosphere in the contest hosted by Zombie’s Don’t Run. I am up against a lot of really good blogs out there and some of which I haven’t read or heard of until now. Anyway, if you love The Paradise of Horror and you support it, why not go over there and vote for me. It would be very appreciated. Hell, if you get there and you want to vote for somebody else… that’s fine by me. Either way, it’s good for all us blogs out there.

The voting area is at the website linked above and it's at the top right hand corner of the page.

And yes, I know the title of this post seems a little pretentious but it got your attention, which is what I wanted. I can assure you, I am not saying that I am better than all the other blogs out there.

Thanks for you’re continued support,

- Rick

The Terror of the Killer Klowns

The other night I watched Killer Klowns from Outer Space; a movie that has always been with since I could remember and it’s one of the wackiest, funniest, cheesiest films I had ever seen. However, after watching it again I noticed one scene in particular that was really frightening and I remember thinking to myself that this scene reminds me of John Wayne Gacy. First let me describe the scene to you:

The scene takes place outside of Big Top Burger where a large overweight Klown appears. Inside, there is a family having dinner and youngest sister is bored. The young girl looks outside and sees the Klown on a spring rider waving ‘hi’ to her. She smiles waves back to him. The Klown then begins to play ‘peek-a-boo’ and she plays along with him. The Klown then gets off the spring rider and begins to gesture with his finger to come to him. The next shot is of the family eating dinner while the camera pans to reveal that the little girl is missing. As the clown is gesturing the girl to come over to him, he is hiding a large heavy mallet behind his back. As the girl slowly approaches him, her mom steps in and grabs her and says, “Back here young lady, you’re not going anywhere till you finish your food.” The Klown then growls in anger.

What makes this scene so frightening is seeing a monstrous clown luring a little girl outside so that he can hit her on the head and eat her. The little girl is unaware of his motives and to her; the clown is there just to make her laugh. From her perspective, since she is too young, the clown looks normal with a big red smile, bright clothes and big red nose. What adds to the tension is the score by John Massari. It mostly a slow increasing choir (or synth choir) as the young girl makes her journey towards the Klown. The score is surreal and almost frightening, it forebodes danger and evokes an uncomfortable emotion.

As I said before, and I am not sure whether this is their intention or not but, this scene parallels a real life incident where a ‘clown’ lured unsuspecting victims to their deaths: John Wayne Gacy. It’s uncanny how the scene can be interpreted as being inspired by John Gacy.

This is probably the only scary scene in the whole movie, while the rest is pure sci-fi fun. With that, I will leave you with this image… the image of defeat, the image of anger and the image of WTF?

Best Designed Blogs

As many of you know, I find great blogs on a daily basis and I have seen a lot of great blogs out there but some blogs just stand out more than others. I’m not saying that the quality of the work is better than all the rest but I think, in terms of design, these blogs stand out among all the rest. I also want to note that I am not discouraging or making fun of any other horror blogs out there who don’t have the money or the talent to get a good page designer. I just came across these blogs and said, “Wow, those are really well made blogs.” My goal is not to offend people.

With that said, here is the list of blogs that I think have really outdid their blog layout design… in no particular order either.

Kindertrauma
I love this site because on first glance it looks like it’s a nice little blog about the days of growing up and playing outside. It has a lovely pink background, a chalkboard and even little letter bocks for the categories. It looks so innocent until you start reading it and you realize that this site is meant to tap into your deepest childhood fears and provoke them. I have to thank Lance Vaughan for effectively tricking my eye but also for creating a very cool blog layout.

Attack from Planet B
When you first look at this blog you will notice that the name and it’s lettering is very reminiscent of 50s b-movie cinema and low budget sci-fi films. That’s the whole theme of this blog is to capture that essence again. It combines those great serial looking faces with a very unique style of 50s comic book lettering. The colors all seem as though they are washed out and vintage and it just adds to that retro feel. Of course this is yet another blog on Wordpress. Adam Akers did a great job with this setup. I am sure that once the blog starts hitting it big, it will only further it’s appeal.

Lost Highway
Now we get to my personal favorite blog of them all. Steve, like Adam, designed his own webpage. When you first look at Lost Highway you will notice that the background looks dirty, crumpled, raw and grainy and then you realize that this will be a fun read. The theme to this blog is “a detour through b-movies and cult films” so like any good roadmap you’d expect road signs, attractions, maybe a little comic book feel to it and maybe some twists and turns. Well, this blog as all that and more. Each film has it’s own little ‘roadside attraction’ and is dated on nifty little route plaque. You’ll even notice the pictures have their own commentary.

Classic-Horror
Ah yes, much like Lost Highway, this blog really utilizes the older vintage look to its advantage. The blog’s name and letting reflects the earlier age of horror when titles were shown in big bold letters and looked as though they were markered in. The blog is beautifully colored and I really enjoy the paper creases that the banner and the bottom have. It has a great image of a zombie lunging out towards you, which is very reminiscent of Night of the Living Dead.

Again, I want to reiterate on something: these are just the blogs that I think have the best layout and the best theme. I’m not saying they are THE BEST blogs out there, nor am I saying that they are better than anybody else. I am one for website design and I love it when a blog can reflect their theme and I understand there are people out there that don’t have the tools or the money to afford a designer. All blogs are equal in my opinion.

Creepshow 2: My Thoughts on The Raft

Now first of all, this is not really a review but rather a few thoughts that I have on The Raft. I might do a Creepshow 2 review later on down the road. First off, when I was younger I thought this was the best segment by far and I would always be freaked out by the way the tar thing ate people. Hell, we had a campground that had a raft like that out in the lake and I was frightened to go out there because I thought that think would kill me. It kind of rode the coattails of Jaws in making me a little scared of the water. Now, when I see it, it reminds me of those emotions that I felt and like most people who have seen Creepshow 2 this is my favorite segment in the whole movie (second being Old Chief Wooden Head and third being The Hitchhiker).

The story starts off with the kids in the car, smoking weed and laughing about the adventures yet to come. It’s totally 80s and you can really tell by the hair, the clothing and the music blasting on the radio. And once the group finally gets to the raft and one of the guys notices it eating a duck and swimming towards them, that’s where the bad acting and dialogue come in. Oh boy, this is 80s cheese at its best. Of course, with a film like this and given the year it was made in, most people can forgive it for it’s bad acting because the film is a little campy at times.

Now, when we finally do see this tar thing eat people, I was freaked out… when I was younger. You see the tar cover the girl in all its sloppy, slimy glory and you can see it melt the skin off of her body. It was so graphic and yet there was little bloodshed. Back then; I just imagine the burning sensation. As I look at it now and I notice how the monster eats people (by shooting it’s tendrils up the persons leg or arm and grabbing them into it’s soupy body) it reminds me so much of the ’88 version of The Blob. This was pre ’88 Blob too so it was pretty cool to see it. That’s another thing I want to bring up; when you see the tendrils pierce through the people’s leg I could feel my muscles tightening.

Of course the ending is the big slap in the balls when the monster does get the survivor man and we notice the sign that says no swimming. I face-palmed myself when I was younger. I screamed, “C’mon on!! All you had to do was look a little to your side!” My overall impression of the movie, now, is it’s still watchable and for kids it can be pretty scary ‘cause this is the most intense segment in the whole film. I forgot who said this but they also wanted to see it happen for The Crate from the original Creepshow, but they wanted to see a prequel or a feature-length movie of The Raft. I would love to see that too, provided that they don’t use CGI.

Thank You Brian and the Cyber Horror Awards

A few months ago I contacted Brian Soloman of Vault of Horror asking if I could participate in the Cyber Horror Awards. This was during the beginning stages of my blog so it was a while ago and this was before I really knew about him or his blog. Well, when I got the email I was thrilled that he still remembered (partially because I had forgot about the awards and I asked him if I was one of the voters.) Well, I did my part and I am pleased to have been a part of it because not only did I have a change to state my votes but also because it indirectly led me to some cool horror blogs.

I don’t want to bore you with the winters and nominees because you can find them all online, just follow the links. However, I would like to thank Brian for creating this nifty award ceremony because it gives us bloggers a chance to choose for ourselves who we think deserves an award and why. Though the award is not nearly as big as it probably should be… I am sure that within time this will be and I will support it all the way. Thanks Brian and thank you all for supporting it.

The winners of the 2009 Cyber Horror Awards
The post on The Vault of Horror

Creepshow: Creepy Poetic Justice

To continue my ‘double-feature post’ on Creepshow, as I said in my previous post on the ashtray, the segment entitled They’re Creeping Up On You deals with the best kind of revenge. Much like every story (except for The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill) deals with revenge but in this segment, it’s poetic justice. According to a class book I have, poetic justice is “an outcome in which vice is punished and virtue rewarded, usually in a manner peculiarly or ironically appropriate.” I think this segment really fits with this literary device. Let’s look at the plot:

The story is centered on Upson Pratt, a Howard Hughes inspired millionaire. Right off the bat we understand that he is having a serious cockroach problem and we know that he loathes cockroaches. During this time he converses with one of his employees about a corporate takeover of another company, but when the employee says that the owner shot himself because of it… Pratt smiles and says good riddance. In another conversation, he threatens to fire an employee who is on vacation if he does not fix his roach problem. Then, in another conversation, the widow of the man who killed himself calls as Upson mocks her and her husband’s death. Why does he do all this? He thinks that everybody, except him are nothing but a bunch of cockroaches.

“You have to watch them. Castonmeyer, Reynolds… bugs. That’s all they are. All of them. And although they’re essentially brainless… you have to watch them… ‘cause they creep up on you.”
- Upson Pratt

It’s a wonderful juxtaposition to the characters that Upson Pratt interacts with throughout the segment. As the characters become more hurt by Pratt, the cockroach problem becomes worse. Then, when the blackout hits the cockroaches decided to frighten Pratt by attacking him in swarms. When the emergency power comes back on, Pratt decides to lock himself in his bedroom only to have cockroaches burrowing out of his stomach, throat and mouth till his death. It’s one of the best stories in the whole anthology.

Here, the cockroaches don’t just act as typical bugs; they are representing all the men and women that Pratt looks down upon. They represent all the people that Pratt has ruined, fired and harassed throughout his life. Since he compared those people to cockroaches and bugs, it’s fitting to see cockroaches attack him. The roaches kill him before he could kill them, and if you look at it as poetic justice, all the people that Pratt ruined finally got revenge on him. I compare it to when Ellie Driver hides the black mamba in Bud’s money suitcase, because Ellie uses the black mamba to kill Bud in Tarantino's Kill Bill. The Bride’s codename was Black Mamba so that you can argue that The Bride did get revenge on Bud in some sense.

I was always fascinating by the idea of poetic justice and when I first saw this segment, I didn’t really like it all that much. I looked at it as a lame idea and I hated that they used cockroaches of all things. Of course, I was ignorant back then but now as I look at it… it’s a great segment and probably one of my favorites. I have to thank all these film classes that I am taking because without them, I would have never analyzed this segment and found pure poetic justice.

Creepshow: The Deadly Ashtray

The other night I watched one of my favorite horror anthologies… Creepshow and I noticed something, something that a lot of other people noticed besides me so I kind of feel weird posting about this but I figured I’d look deeper into it. In every short story, we see that marble ashtray somewhere in the background (with the exception of Father’s Day). Why is it there? Does it mean something? Was it supposed to be a gag or a just a reoccurring element? Well, I think that I have discovered why it’s used in almost every scene and keep it mind, I am only guessing on this, this is only my interpretation of it.

First, lets look at its structure. It’s dark and almost Gothic looking piece and it’s sort of creepy in a way, which should tell you right off the bat that this is a piece that is not supposed to be nice. The design, from what I can see, is that of a little boy sitting up against a tombstone looking down into the ‘tray’ part as though he was looking into a grave. This symbolizes death, which is ironic because the ash goes into the ‘grave’ almost like it was saying that smoking would eventually cause death. The first time we are introduced to the ashtray, it was shown as the object in which one of the characters kills her father with, setting up that this piece causes death. It’s like an omen of sorts, whenever a person is about to die or is going to die; this piece is somewhere in the scenery or next to something that is important.

Below, I have screen captured all the scenes that had this ashtray so that you can see where it fits in with everything.

Father’s Day

Here, the ashtray is used to kill the Father. Nothing special but as I stated before, it is supposed to set up that this ashtray is not meant to be a good sign when you see it. You can argue that the ashtray is still a murder weapon, just not directly.

The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill

In this segment, it doesn’t really have a meaning like how Father’s Day was an act of revenge. Here, it’s foreshadowing that Jordy will eventually die, but Jordy is very nice but goofy kind of a person. So I guess it’s his own stupidity that causes his end.

Something To Tide You Over

As you can see, the ashtray is not on the desk of Richard Vickers just after he got done sadistically murdering his wife and her secret lover by buying them in the sand while the tide came in. The ashtray is symbolizing that Richard is about die a very harsh death because of his coldblooded actions and again, it’s out of pure revenge.

The Crate

In this scene, after realizing his friend was telling the truth about finding a monster in a crate and that it killed 2 people, Henry decides to lure his drunk and emotionally abusive wife to the monster so that he can get rid of her. The ashtray is right next to the letter that would lead his wife Wilma to the college where she would be eaten. Another act of revenge foreshadowed by the ashtray.

They’re Creeping Up On You

This is the best example of poetic justice that I will later elaborate on in another post. Here, we see Upson Pratt washing his hands after spraying a few roaches. Soon, the roaches invade his penthouse and they kill him. The ashtray symbolizes the best kind of justice, the revenge from all the ‘roaches’ that Pratt killed and destroyed.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Oh yes, this just happened. I just heard about this book from Stu, at Buy Zombie, sent me the trailer for it. I am so psyched for this book. When I first saw the trailer I thought it was a real movie and my first impression was: AWESOME!!!!

The publisher had this to say:

“Following the success of his bestselling Pride and Prejudice and Zombies with another mélange of history and horror, Grahame-Smith inserts a grandiose and gratuitous struggle with vampires into Abraham Lincoln's life. Lincoln learns at an early age that his mother was killed by a supernatural predator. This provokes his bloody but curiously undocumented lifelong vendetta against vampires and their slave-owning allies. The author's decision to reduce slavery to a mere contrivance of the vampires is unfortunate bordering on repellent, but at least it does distract the reader from the central question of why the president never saw fit to inform the public of the supernatural menace. Grahame-Smith stitches hand-to-hand vampire combat into Lincoln's documented life with competent prose that never quite manages to convince.”

I for one, am sold on this book and I will definitely be buying this. This is my first real news story on this blog but the trailer made me so excited that I had to post this. Hopefully this book will also help redeem vampires. You can watch it below.

Buy it on Amazon here.